Melissa, well we are all here for you to talk to or bounce off, it helps so much when we all get it! I do think you'd benefit from some counseling too, it helps more than you know. The other thing I wanted to say to you was, majority of Breast Cancer is not hereditary, it's like 5% so 95% of Breast Cancer is completely random. I'd been getting mammos since I was 38 only because my Mum had BC at 40, there is nobody else in the family. I got it at 43 but was well ahead of it. I don't have the BRCA Gene and the good news is my daughter who is nearly 20 risk is only about 2% higher than the normal population. There is no rhyme or reason to it, it absolutely rips your world apart, so its important to keep talking and get some help to get through. Hugs Melinda xo