Terrific advice, thank you everyone, I wanted to reply to each conversation separately, but can't work out how to do it.!! I don't have children, I only got married in March (2nd time) seems unfair to have to deal with this so soon after our wedding. I lost my first husband to mesothelioma in 2008 we were together 31 years, I cared for him for a year before he lost the fight, I never would have thought it would happen to me. I'm going to keep reading posts here and asking questions as a way to get through this. Thanks again xoxox