Don't know where to begin

Hi Bellablor, waiting for results sucks.......! So many things run through your mind and you feel like a spectator in your own future. Once you receive your results, ask lots of questions and take a support person with you to your appointments. Write things down too, this way you can make an informed decision about your options. Read up on the sites that PrimeK has given you too. Sending you a big cuddle, Trace xxxx

I got netflex connected and also just went out for coffee with my wound drains in a bag. So good to get out the house for bit. Or to the movies even. Couple hours with an occupied mind helps. X

Hi @Bellablor  IT is OKAY to be having a bad morning.... I have a suggestion while I was going thru diagnosis and treatment we had a group SMS/facebook messenger Private message, that I would just do one update and everyone that needed it got it. it removed some of the stress of repeating the same thing over and over. .... 

It is normal to want your results but not want them either it is our need to deny that this roller coaster ride has put us on the ride without our permission. 

hugs 
Alice xoxo 

You know all those movie series you never get time to watch? Get into em! :D :D

Hi there @Bellablor & welcome to the online forum. Just like me I had never been on an online forum before and was not certain how to post etc etc. I have been on the forum for just under 6 months and have received great support, inspiration and terrific advice about several things (medical and non-medical). I have commented quite a few times that this is a great place with like minded, supportive ladies who simply "get you".  

Simply by posting, chatting, sharing a random thought or fear is not simply vetting. It is being able to offload to those who understand - yes as wonderful as our family and friends are. 

Yes, it does seem as though the outside world is going on around you and sometimes you feel like you are having an out of body experience and are not a participant. 

You mention being stuck at home (no work or gym) and I think that perhaps apart from your bc diagnosis you are otherwise "healthy" ? That in itself is frustrating. Maybe you have some favourite movies or TV series on DVD (or able to binge watch something whilst you have some alone time). Look on it as "me time" and perhaps your friends may have something in mind (or can lend you). 

Welcome again to you Paula and @"Just Fer"   <3

Best wishes Sheryl 

Hey @Bellablor I hear you loud and clear, I think we can all identify with how you feel right now and have been there. It is hard to watch life go by when you are at home, I know in many ways I felt quite forgotten. I found the hardest time was 4.5 months of Chemo...I really felt that way, useless, hopeless and no quality of life as I once knew it. You do get sick of talking about it, but I think moreso to well meaning friends and family who try so hard but can't possibly understand the depth of what you are feeling. Its the most isolating time in your life. I think getting the Results will be good, because then you will know exactly what it is and what the plan will be. you will have direction and its the knowing that helps alot. Honestly Ive been through this twice, the 2nd time was harder, but you are so validated with how you feel. I wanted to say too...it's actually not about everyone else...its about YOU! we spend our lives making sure everyone else is OK...strangely a big lesson for me through this was to stop doing that. I finally became important...I remember people saying to me I have to do Chemo for my children as Im a single parent. You know what I realised and I said??? If I can't do all of this for me...I cannot do it for them or anyone else. It starts with ME, and this really was the turning point for me, in forging forward one day at a time and one thing at a time. I know how impossible it all seems right now...Ive been there...but I promise you, you will find the strength and we will all be here to help. Big hugs Melinda xo

Having a bad morning. Everyone's life is going on and I'm stuck at home . No work, no gym. Just waiting for results. Time is standing still. Drain still in and draining. So not coming out anytime soon. I know I should be greatful for good family and great friends. Sick of talking everyone through what's happened so far. Want my results but don't want to find out either. Thanks for letting me vent. Have to stay positive for everyone else x Paula

Neither of you are alone..... 

Hi Bellablor... I have just signed up and this is my first engagement with the network! Coincidently, your post is the first that I read!
I felt and could sympathize exactly where you are at! I too am in the waiting stage, post initial diagnosis, lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy. I too am living the same waiting game, I get my 'plan' on the 3rd of April, the results and treatment! What a whirlwind! The sick feeling in my stomach is at times overwhelming - worse case scenario thinking often appears in my thoughts, particularly at 3am in the morning. My breast care nurse said the three best things I can do for myself is exercise (obviously when I am sufficiently recovered from surgery), sleep (not doing well on this one) and stress. I am not sure how to reduce stress when everything is so overwhelming. 
I have no advice as I am in about the same boat as you ... but you are not alone

Hello @Bellablor - Everyone here has great advice, the best I ever got was 'take one step at a time'. I have followed this and found that by keeping my head around just the current situation I have kept my thoughts and focus on me and am managing to stay positive. Hugs and positive energy to you!