Hi, I got my test results back from 5 core samples last Thursday. Malignant. Infiltrating ductal carcinoma, 12mmx9mmx8mm. Grade 3 (T3, P3, M2). Positive ER (80%, 1-2). Negative PR and strong positive HER2 (3+).Today, Friday, a week later I saw the surgeon and he wants to do a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. He says I will lose the size of a golf ball in my right breast, no reconstruction but it will be apparent. He's scheduled the surgery for two weeks from today! I only told my dad last night. I'm 52, single, no children. Haven't told friends yet as still processing. This seems rather quick to me! Before I commit to a year of chemo (he said) and radiation I'd like to lie in the sun somewhere warm in my bathers and say goodbye to my breast as I know it! I'm not ready to be "sick". I'd like to take a trail ride. My breasts aren't large and I always wished they were bigger growing up. But I am happy with them now. It seems so silly and vain. If I had cancer in my leg I think I wouldn't be as confused. I don't have a significant other. I know I'm not my breast but they are probably the only thing I am happy with about my body at this age. I know a lot of women go through a lot more and apologise for what must sound trivial by comparison.Should I take a couple more weeks to 'do' something - even tidy my flat above the main house or even change my sheets? I'd like to drive north ... fight or flight. But does this seem too quick to people?Thank you

@viking1 Welcome! Sorry you have found yourself here, it usually is a shock and whirlwind. 2 weeks isnt too soon, considering your diagnosis, you do need to get it taken out and get pathology done as that's more important and more definitive than the biopsies. That will determine exactly your plan. Its so so hard, as like all of us, it doesn't wait.Ive had it twice 2011, 2015 and due to recurrence I had a single mastectomy Feb this year and diep flap reconstruction, absolutely a tough decision. It took me a year after Chemo to come to the decision so I was lucky in that I was treated and had time to think about it. I haven't looked back, it's been a hard road, but I'm 2 years clear now and reconstructed and moving on with my life.Everything in my life came to a standstill, I was only 7 months into a new relationship and a single parent of 2 teenage kids, my whole world was torn apart, but somehow Ive come out the other side.There are so many wonderful ladies here to offer support, so hang in there, ask away, we'll help as best we can! Hugs Melinda xo

Life is super crazy when faced with these decisions ...i did take some time and made some private photos .. some clothed some not i chose frida khalo as my inspiration so... love mexico and dressesd with this in mind ..al the best Bright

I understand how you feel but a her2 cancer can be very fast growing so the sooner removed the sooner you start treatment. You will be keeping your breast but it will be different. I chose mastectomy and reconstruction and had 20 days to prepare. (Same type as you, my biopsy originally said grade 2 but once removed it was bigger and higher grade than biopsy) I held a farewell boobie party 2 days before my surgery. I just called everyone...or sent out via email / facebook. Sooo many people came. My party was called Dolly's parting. We all dressed up...I just wore underwear and a skirt lol...with the girls on show. Food was boob themed. I wrote a poem to my boobs. And took photos. Sounds silly but it was important to me to acknowledge them and my loss . I was 51 at diagnosis and chose bilateral with reconstruction.I understand your feeling of being rushed, we all feel like that at the beginning. But haste is important with a her2. I really can't stress this enough. Treatment now has fabulous outcomes. Pic is if my party. I hadn't slept for days beforehand. I handed out my bras for anyone not dressed up to wear.Take care. Kath x

@viking1 i just wanted the cancer out of me as soon as possible. I would have gone to theatre that moment if it had been an option & wss completely distraught having to wait 10 days knowing it was in me growing. We are all different & deal differently like @primek how cool was her party?? Talk to a Breast Care Nurse if you are feeling railroaded into something quicker than your ready for..

@viking1 perhaps ask your surgeon how long can this be delayed. Whenever I had a problem the breast care nurses were pretty good with advice. Generally my experience and what I have read and heard is treatment starts as soon as possible. I am fairly big breasted and the lumpectomy is not really that noticeable. As for disappearing my wish. Having cancer does not knock you out totally you can still function. Some ladies even continue working. Embrace the journey. We are not lucky to have cancer but gee we are so lucky to be treated hereI have nothing but respect and admiration for all the crew that looked after me.

Do I Need Time? First surgeon appoint today, surgery in 2 weeks!

53 Replies

adean
Member
9 years ago
Hi there as primek said her2 is a fast growing cancer. You will have so much time after to do whatever, you will need to recover physicaly and emotionaly. I played the super invincible woman but wish ld been kinder to me. Im 5 years post there are good and bad days but you get there and believe me one day you will say where did that time go. Adean xx
Anonymous
Not applicable
9 years ago
Great points Melinda, it's all about doing what's best for you. I love alternative therapies now, massage, essential oils, plus mindfulness (great podcast meditations) and trying to eat well. I went through chemo, radio and surgery first. It's about balance.
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
@viking1 I don't have a sister, but brothers, in my experience the past 6 years, I'd have to say Loved Ones struggle because they feel helpless and just don't know what to do. Firstly, alot of their reaction is due to NO knowledge and secondly they just can't get the complexity of it. So their advice is usually uninformed and it doesn't help. What you want and need the most as you say is to just love you and be there...thats what Ive told mine over the years and if you dont understand something I'm happy to explain. I lost alot of friends, and it was the least expected stepped up and were amazing!

It is hard, everyone has an opinion of what you should do re: treatment. I love alternative therapies and am a Reiki Master, but they are used IN CONJUNCTION with Medicine. Nothing replaces conventional medicine, its so important that people understand that. I now eat a great diet including meat LOL, but this has zero bearing on BC or getting it again, in fact none of it makes any difference. Its all minority studies. The key only is for you to FEEL good, so whatever that looks like to you, a change in diet, exercise, meditation, anything...thats all its about. It doesn't discriminate and there is no blame in any woman of what she did or didnt do to prevent it. Big Hugs!! xoxo Melinda
fairydust
Member
9 years ago
@viking1 happy news. I met a fellow lady while doing chemo. She was very upset one day. I asked her why and she said she had to have blood tranfusions. She was also slim and fit.
The reason being she was low in iron She had cut back on meat thinking it would be healthier.
Before all the vegans reply I am well aware that if you manage your vegan diet well this is not a problem
As to the complex world of sisters. Just because you are related doesnt mean you see things the same
Looks like you are well on the way best wishes
Anonymous
Not applicable
9 years ago
@viking1 great to hear you are working it out with your sister. When I was first diagnosed with cancer my boyfriend at the time was against chemo. He said to travel instead and to use alternative therapies. I remember feeling influenced by him, but chose my own path of conventional treatment. I think his opinions were all about him and his experience of losing his mother to cancer. When he had a cancer scare a year ago he had to have a lump cut out and was considering all options! It was so different when his health and wellbeing were on the line. There's just so much advice people give you and they don't realise that it adds to the stress. Take care x
viking1
Member
9 years ago
She thinks a total change of diet, maybe becoming vegan. I'm not opposed to that unless I become anaemic. It was more the case of her proposing doing that instead of chemo, radiation and hormone treatment. I'd be happy eating healthy and doing the treatments. Today she came upstairs and apologised for her reaction and basically said all the Hollywood movies she's seen hadn't ended well. So that was a turning point! I think my niece has been talking to her about her mum in law's breast lumpectomy and chemo etc and it's sinking in that it's not Beaches! She also offered to include me in her vege dinners and take me to surgery. So, things are looking brighter! I'm very glad as really all the support I want from her is to feel that she cares and isn't cutting me off. The past few weeks of silence and avoidance were not good but I also know now if I have to, I can do it alone at home but with support here and my few good girlfriends. Both live in the country and came up this weekend to see me, so that was amazing! xx
fairydust
Member
9 years ago
@Viking1 Let me try again. I have tried and tried and tried to live happily ever after with my sister not easy. My sister lives interstate. We are just very diffrerent .Your sister probably does care but has a funny way of showing it.
I wonder if you have ever asked your sister outright what are you supposed to do to stop the cancer.
She may hate western medicine thats all well and good but what is a proven alternative. Does she have an answer?
No point being at loggerheads . Anyway best wishes
fairydust
Member
9 years ago
@Viking1 I have tried and tried and tried to live happiy ever after with my si
LMK74
Member
9 years ago
Brenda5, thanks for answering my question. Guess I'm just getting scared as only two more chemo and then surgery. Not sure yet if lumpectomy will be option unless it shrinks drastically between now and surgery. So small busted anyway it won't matter lol. I also loathe hospitals and don't think I would have reconstruction either. The sooner this shit is over the better.
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
@LMK74 nope I dont feel lopsided since I am only small boobs anyway. With one breast left I can get away with going out with a loose shirt on with pockets on the front. The pocket sort of hides the missing breast but over a year past surgery I dont really care what the public or even family think of me and there will never be any reconstruction as I loathe hospitals.
@viking1 My surgery was overnight stay and back home as well. Actually I ended up with two surgeries and both were only overnight. It is great to get back home to your own bed and i didn't have any heart troubles or anything which needed observation in hospital anyway. You can choose your friends but not your relatives and believe me I have far better friends than with blood kin. Just how life works out sometimes but your sis might come in handy especially down the track with bone broths which are supposed to be very good for you. I wish I knew how to make one myself but fortunately most of my bone aches from Tamoxifen have gone away by themselves now. Prior I used to get up feeling like a bus ran over me lol. Get in all the home help you can. Your body will thank you for the rest it brings you.
If you are bored or if any of you lovely bc ladies feel alone and want to chat on facebook, just drop a private message to me with your friend request so I know not to delete you as spam. https://www.facebook.com/brenda.irwin.37 <3