From @Caroline71 Hi Everyone I am new to the site, just turned 48 and only diagnosed 2 days ago with stage 3 invasive breast cancer.It has spread to my lymph nodes and the muscles in my chest and I still have to have scans to see if it has gone to other organs.I am utterly devastated as I only had a scan in December and it was clear but I developed a large lump in my breast out of nowhere I put it off for 2 months as I thought it was another cyst as I had one in the left breast which is why the scan was done in December I did not realise that breast cancers could appear that large out of nowhere and then to be told it is advanced and spread already has hit me like a ton of bricks.I have not seen the oncologist yet as I am waiting to be contacted i am absolutely terrified and depressed as well.I am worried it has spread to my liver or lungs as I have been having back pain and shortness of breath for months now,I am scared of the chemo and how sick I will be.i watched my dad die of stage 4 lung cancer last year which came out of nowhere and he only lived 5 months after diagnosis after developing sepsis as a side effect of the chemo.I am just a absolute mess and have no one I can really talk to.i have a 25 year old son and the thought of dying and leaving him has me so devastated I am feeling hopeless and depressed and like I just do not want to have to go any further sorry for such a depressing post and feeling sorry for myself.just needed to get things off my chest and hope to hear other people’s experiences on how to deal with it all

Thank you to all you lovely ladies, I feel so much better about things after reading all your messages of support and your stories and experiences.i can look at things without as much fear after reading all your messages and for that I am truly grateful.i am so happy to have found this wonderful support network and know that there is someone there to talk to when I am feeling scared or down and that there are other people who have felt exactly as I have.Much love to you all and I look forward to getting to know you all xx

@Caroline71 This time after diagnosis but before heading into treatment is really really hard. I spent that time veering from fog to absolute despair. Somehow, once you start treatment, the anxiety while not going away, does tend to calm a bit for most people. I'm guessing that you know who you have been referred to - give them a call and find out your appointment time - the staff should be used to people who are anxious.It sounds to me that you have a lot of trauma to deal with having this come so soon after your father's sudden death. Do you have a psychologist/counsellor? If not, I would suggest that you try to get in to see someone who deals with cancer patients & families. You can get a mental health care plan from your GP to offset some of the costs. And I know at the moment that probably seems too much to even contemplate but talk to your GP or oncologist - they often know of someone who they can recommend.The thought of leaving our kids is an awful one. It has been my shadow throughout and I don't know if it ever goes away. On the other hand, my kids have been amazing since my diagnosis 18 months ago. They still drive me to distraction at times and it certainly has affected them but they have really risen to the occasion when needed. As the others have said - come here when you need information, want to vent or even have a laugh. We get it.

Hi there @Caroline71, welcome to the group that nobody joins voluntarily. Anyone who is not knocked for a six upon learning that they have cancer, would be a rare bird indeed. All of us here, young and not so young. Single and partnered, with and without kids, male and female, "get" it. When I was given a list of things to get before chemo, the first thing I purchased was a plastic bucket from Kmart for the anticipated puking. Well that bucket remains unused for the purpose and now lives a peaceful life as a laundry bucket. Never even had the collywobbles, let alone full on vomiting. Plenty of other stuff happened, but not that. I was diagnosed Grade 3 Stage 3 Triple Positive in 2016. Had AC chemo X 4 doses followed by Paclitaxol X 12 and Herceptin for a year. This was followed by bilateral mastectomy after chemo finished. Currently NED (no evidence of disease). Nothing else to add to the above posts from other members. Sending a big (((cyber hug))). Ally.

hi Caroline71 it is normal to be scared and upset when we are first diagnosed. there are many great ladies and gents on this forum who will answer questions and guide you as you go through this process. Dont do Dr google he can be deceiving. Ask questions here, have a vent and know we get it... as you go through the process and have a plan things will start to settle a bit. Hugs Soldiercrab

@Caroline71 It's always scary the thought of chemo. But so many of us are here and got through it and mostly without major issues.It's normal to feel scared and worry that all things are bc related. They may not be. I know saying that won't help as until you know for sure you will worry. We get it. We've been there.I too had a clear mammogram 5 weeks before I found a lump which in my case was close to the nipple. It would have been much larger before being found in a different location. As to your oncologist. ..if you haven't heard from them by Thursday morning I'd be following up.We are here for any questions you have. No question is silly. Remember that. XPlease let ys know how things go.

Diagnosed 2 days ago | BCNA Online Network

63 Replies

Sister
Member
7 years ago
Chemo is not a whole lot of fun but for most of us, it's manageable. Don't believe the movies. It's hard being somewhere that you don't know many people. Hopefully, someone from Townsville will hop on and give you some local info.
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
I know it's hard to do Caroline, but try not to stress too much about chemo side effects. It's not like it was in the bad old days, there's no non-stop vomiting. There are drugs for most of the side effects. It's grotty but doable. Some people work through it with only the occasional day off! I found, on the advice of everyone here, that truly the best way through the cancer shitshow is to take it one day at a time. As my psychologist says, no predictive grief. As my yoga teacher says, there is only now. Lots of teachers! Big hug lovely, K xox
Blossom1961
Member
7 years ago
Don’t be. Chemo is so different to what it was even ten years ago. Furthermore, side effects are largely controlled by medications so you never need to put up with feeling horrendous. Keep your medical team up to date with how you feel, keep a journal and note any and all side effects so that you can relate those back. You never know, you may be one of those who has a negligible reaction. Try to stay occupied in the meantime. xxx
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Hi Blossom1961,
Thank you
I will do,I think my biggest worry at the moment is what the chemo side effects are going to be like.
I am terrified
Blossom1961
Member
7 years ago
Hi @Caroline71 Hop on here as often as you like, even if only to vent. We are here for you as others were here for us. I consider this my family, and we welcome and support all who join. Big hugs. xxx
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Hi Anne
Thank you for thinking of me.I am hanging in there
I have a MRI, CT and bone scan on Thursday so on Friday I should hopefully have the surgery and chemo/radiation dates,
well at least I hope I will have a plan put in place for me
The cancer is bigger than they originally thought ,over 5 cms and it is oestrogen and progesterone positive
That is all I really know at the moment
I also have a mass on my ovary that I am awaiting the results for so I’m pretty all over the place at the moment
The waiting is the worst
I live in Townsville but do not really know a lot of people
BlackWidow
Member
7 years ago
Hello @Caroline71. I have been away for several weeks so am just catching up on old posts. I see that you have not been on since your first posting and wonder how you are getting on. As newly diagnosed you are probably feeling frantic so I hope you are keeping in touch with some medical people who can help you. BCNA ladies live all over the country so I hope you have managed to contact someone who lives near you. What area do you live in ? Best regards Anne
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Thank you to all you lovely ladies, I feel so much better about things after reading all your messages of support and your stories and experiences.
i can look at things without as much fear after reading all your messages and for that I am truly grateful.
i am so happy to have found this wonderful support network and know that there is someone there to talk to when I am feeling scared or down and that there are other people who have felt exactly as I have.
Much love to you all and I look forward to getting to know you all xx
Michele_B
Member
7 years ago
Hi @Carolyn71, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Ypu have come to the right place for great advice, support and love. Every person on here has felt that same dread and anxiety you are currently feeling . I can't add any further advice but just wanted you to knowI am thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. Take care xxx
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
Felt mildly nauseous every now and then, gagged once, never vomited. These days you're unlucky if chemo makes you spew.

It's a hard lesson to apply, but try not to cross bridges until you come to them, take it all one day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary, and don't grieve what hasn't yet happened. Cancer is a big teacher of staying in the moment. Biggest of hugs, K xox

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