It sounds a bit hackneyed @mrscords but it is true - you need time. Time to take everything on board and time to heal. It's hard to imagine how much of a wrecking ball this thing is until you're going through it. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself the grief that comes with the territory. Do consider accessing counselling - some counsellors have more experience with cancer than others. If you can find something that allows your thoughts to untangle and settle, it can be helpful. For some it's meditation or gardening - for me it was walking. Take care and feel free to come back here for i