@ddon, I'm happy that you are feeling some calm and good luck for your treatment.
The first one is the hardest in my opinion, probably all the unknowns I guess. I found chemo to be not as bad as I imagined, I had lovely staff / patients who were a wealth of information and very supportive, I relied on them for advice which was strangely comforting.
The side effects for me were many but I managed and in the end I got the best possible result, a complete pathological response. Chemo worked! I pray that you have the same outcome :)