Forum Discussion
Could really use some inspiration from a positive experience
Hi amazing people - I'm new to this site and forum and so appreciative of all the information on here and the generosity of so many incredible people who have shared their stories.
I'm right at the beginning of things - just been diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma in both sides - ER/PR +ve, HER2 -ve - looks like I've probably had this for a year even though I've always had regular, comprehensive mammograms and ultrasounds. Very thorough investigations (2 mammograms, 2 ultrasonds + MRI) on large palpable mass and some architectural distortion 12 months ago still came up as nothing to worry about (suspected scar tissue from breast reduction 30 years ago) but further changes and architectural distortion got much worse over the year so off I went for repeat scans and this time it was obviously breast cancer. Lymph nodes look clear on ultrasound (no guarantees I know) and suspected low grade, stage 1 or 2 but again - won't know until they get in there.
Haven't even had a proper post-biopsy consult with my Breast Surgeon yet because he's away until the end of the month but I'm about to go for staging scans - CT on chest, abdo, pelvis and full bone scan - and these freak me out so much more than the Breast Cancer diagnosis - is that weird?
Are there any stats out there on how many people have metastasized breast cancer right from the start? Do things like osteo-arthritis, old fractures, other inflammations show up as suspected secondaries? LIke, can you get a 'false positive' for mets? Or does Breast Cancer mets look very unique on these scans?
Right now all I can think of is the persistent cough I've had for a few months, the niggling pain in my lower back, headache and knee pain! I'm also quite overweight so that must contribute to some of those aches and pains. I've prepared myself for anything they will tell me (if you can ever really be prepared) but I'm trying hard not to 'write the chapter before it's happened' - as a very wise friend recently told me.
I don't want to give myself any false hope and I know I have to be prepared that there's always a chance they'll find mets but I'm obsessing over it a bit too much and I would really find some inspiration and it would help to get through the next few days if anyone out there might have also had aches, pains, coughs etc and ended up with clear staging scans at the start ??
Thanks again to all the 'warriors' out there. I hope that one day when I'm on the flip side of all of this, then I can also be of help and inspiration to someone :)
Eastmum
I'm right at the beginning of things - just been diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma in both sides - ER/PR +ve, HER2 -ve - looks like I've probably had this for a year even though I've always had regular, comprehensive mammograms and ultrasounds. Very thorough investigations (2 mammograms, 2 ultrasonds + MRI) on large palpable mass and some architectural distortion 12 months ago still came up as nothing to worry about (suspected scar tissue from breast reduction 30 years ago) but further changes and architectural distortion got much worse over the year so off I went for repeat scans and this time it was obviously breast cancer. Lymph nodes look clear on ultrasound (no guarantees I know) and suspected low grade, stage 1 or 2 but again - won't know until they get in there.
Haven't even had a proper post-biopsy consult with my Breast Surgeon yet because he's away until the end of the month but I'm about to go for staging scans - CT on chest, abdo, pelvis and full bone scan - and these freak me out so much more than the Breast Cancer diagnosis - is that weird?
Are there any stats out there on how many people have metastasized breast cancer right from the start? Do things like osteo-arthritis, old fractures, other inflammations show up as suspected secondaries? LIke, can you get a 'false positive' for mets? Or does Breast Cancer mets look very unique on these scans?
Right now all I can think of is the persistent cough I've had for a few months, the niggling pain in my lower back, headache and knee pain! I'm also quite overweight so that must contribute to some of those aches and pains. I've prepared myself for anything they will tell me (if you can ever really be prepared) but I'm trying hard not to 'write the chapter before it's happened' - as a very wise friend recently told me.
I don't want to give myself any false hope and I know I have to be prepared that there's always a chance they'll find mets but I'm obsessing over it a bit too much and I would really find some inspiration and it would help to get through the next few days if anyone out there might have also had aches, pains, coughs etc and ended up with clear staging scans at the start ??
Thanks again to all the 'warriors' out there. I hope that one day when I'm on the flip side of all of this, then I can also be of help and inspiration to someone :)
Eastmum
56 Replies
- Hi again,
I so get the waiting game you are playing. It really is.not nice. I suffer from back pain and every other pain and prior to a scan it plays with my mind terribly. Mine have shown just my arthritis which is good. My Dr told me if it’s cancer it glows like a Christmas tree and looks quite different. My first ever scan I opened it and looked and saw what I thought was lots of glowing bits and nearly died. There was no report with it and I panicked, turns out that was nothing! I hope you don’t have t wait too long for yours. As you have said, it is what it is.
All the best and huge hugs.
Paula x - thanks @Afraser - really appreciate your comments and @SoldierCrab I'm going to print this out and put it up in my office - Love it!
- I didn't get too nervous at the start - there's a great deal to be said for not knowing much as you can't worry as much!! - but I got ridiculously nervous and full of unexplained twinges and odd sensations every year before my annual ultrasound, mammogram etc. It's hard to stop the "what if....". I finally got over it in my fifth year - not that I was blithely indifferent, but I finally felt I knew what to do if the results were not good and how to handle it, and the dread almost vanished. Fear of the unknown is very hard. The known can be a trial and endurance race, but you know it for what it is. Best wishes - your "warrior not worrier" is a great line and a powerful sentiment.
- Thanks so much @LMK74 @Sister @SoldierCrab @Zoffiel
@Joannie @kezmusc @primek and @TonyaM
for your encouragement, information and advice. Yep, the waiting is the absolute pits - but you're absolutely right, it is what it is and whatever it is, I'll deal with it!
Here's to being a wArrier with an 'a' not an 'o' :) - Hi Eastmum,
sorry you’ve joined us but big welcome.You are at the super anxious stage and there’s no getting around it.I can only suggest a drink to calm the nerves and lots of cupboard cleaning or other such distractions while you wait.Finding metastisies straight up is less than 10% but I can’t remember the exact stat.Arthritis shows up quite differently to cancer on scans.If you have no lymph node involvement and your cancer is Hercept -ve then the odds are very much in your favour.Still,it’s very hard to be positive at this point and I think it’s the body’s natural defence mechanism to prepare for the worst
We all do this and it’s quite normal. I had breast cancer back in 2003 and then again in 2010(same breast and still early bc).I’m still here,all clear and doing well.I still get anxious prior checkups-I just keep busy.Keep posting on this network as it helps to know you are not alone.Big hug. Tonya xx - Hi and Welcome.
I can tell you the whole scan process was absolutely frightening...honestly I didn't sleep that week. Not having the scans but what they might show. I can recall the big relief as I had my whole body CT scan results to take to my Dr the next day...but oh it popped open and my husband and I both read through (both nurses) to only see...gallstones, cysts etc...things known about for years. We were both fully aware it might not be good news but I was okay crying in privacy then facing the plan the next day with the Dr should it be bad news. By golly we had a drink that night. The bone scan showed clearly my arthritis (and the Dr gave the results ) which I've since had ct again to be sure it's only still that as it played up more post chemo, weight gain and lack of activity. But yes...they can tell the difference.
Intial staging is hard but at least you know what's happening next with treatment. Fingers and toes crossed for you.
We have a breast reconstruction group you might like to join also if you are thinking mastectomy and about this option, or even if you have no idea what you might want. (Lets face it ...nobody really plans...this is what I'm going to do if I get breast cancer). Included in this are personal stories of various surgical choices you might like to consider.
Kath x - Hi @ Eastmum.
Welcome. The beginning is the worst. The waiting and endless waiting is unbearable. I do remember being too afraid to even ring my dr for the CT results. Yes, they freaked me out more as well as I knew the thing had already got to my nodes up front. .
I had no breast lump that you could feel or that came up on 2 x mammogramms and 2 x ultrasounds. The lump I found was in the lymph node. (there ended up 5 positive ones) .Biopsy of that lump came back "highly suspicious for metastatic cancer" That was the first result I got. That was a friday afternoon. Shit! I hit dr google, BIG MISTAKE and had myself buried by that afternoon.
But guess what? All is well.
So a CT, bone scan, breast and brain MRI and a couple of core biopsies later we found the culprit, all scans were good and no mets. Dodgy bone thingys do show up on the bone scan. Degenerative changes, old lumps and bumps etc.
Lumpectomy, axillariy lymph node clearance, chemo to catch any strays, and radiation later all is good. 15months since DDay and 12 month scans are clear..
It's a thing that is so different for everyone, there are similarities, but until you know what your dealing with the worry is endless. Once you have a game plan you feel ,somewhat, more in control I guess.
One day at a time, one step at a time. Everyone is here for you, we know how you feel.
Keep in touch
XOXOXOX Hi @eastmum
I've been playing ping pong with this bloody disease since 2006. I thought I'd won the set, but it takes more than one set to win the game. So on we play.
I've had pretty much all my removable bits extracted or lopped off in order to get on top of it. Two goes at chemo and a damn good frying last year and I'm still here. I moan and groan about being tired and sore and generally pissed off with my current condition, but there is always the hope things will improve. It keeps me going. The alternative is to succumb to despair which would mean I've rather wasted the last few years.
I don't know what is worse, knowing or not knowing, but some things you really need to have a handle on. There are good reasons to be frightened--this disease can kill us and that fact comes home to you pretty quickly when you are first diagnosed. The fear diminishes as time passes. Sort of. I guess the sword hangs over everybody, but some of us get to see it.
Regarding the coming scans, the bone scans are pretty accurate. Cancer glows in a different way to all the old breaks and lumps of bone clunking around in your joints. If something hinky does come up, you will have more tests.
Good luck in the coming weeks--I genuinely do feel that luck is the major factor where breast cancer is concerned. Yes, there are things that have been proven to contribute but most BC is not attributable to genetics or life style. Just as well, otherwise there would be no fat naughty old women left on the planet which would be a serious loss. Marg
