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Jennifer1982's avatar
Jennifer1982
Member
9 years ago

Coping with uncertainty and waiting

Hi everyone,

I'm 33 and have just had a double mastectomy for what they think is high grade, bilateral dcis. I chose mastectomy over lumpectomy/radio.

I'm struggling emotionally less with the mastectomy and more with the idea of the disease.

Diagnosis to surgery was probably 3 weeks. I've been in hospital a week now with drains. Surgery went very well, I'm healing well, the surgeon is happy, physically i feel as good as i can, but it's such a big deal!!! I'm an emotional wreck.

I think that the main struggle is that sitting with the fear of the unknown. I've always worried about my health. I trust my surgeon and team, the hospital is amazing but I just can't stop worrying. I have been told that waiting on the original biopsy results is the worst time, but now I'm waiting on surgery results I'm similarly distressed.

When did you come to accept your diagnosis? Or, at least, when did you emotionally surrender to the process? What strategies did you use to cope/surrender? Is it this hard all the way or do you adjust?

Love and good wishes to you all,
Jen
emotions
mastectomy
surgery
young-women

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  • primek's avatar
    primek
    Member
    9 years ago
    I think once I started chemo I eventually  just surrendered to the treatment. I too was an emotional wreck and even 9 months on feel positive but have niggling fears of recurrence. Hopefully chemo won't  be on your plan. The reconstruction certainly helped with body image...but acceptance. ..well I think it just takes time, and it is different how long that is for all of us.
  • Jane221's avatar
    Jane221
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi Jen, you've had a lot to deal with in just 3 weeks so it's probably not surprising that you are distressed and overwhelmed by all the emotional turmoil that comes with the diagnosis and loss of your breasts. I think the physical stuff is easier to deal with in many ways, it's the emotional and mental battles that are the hardest as we try to adjust to being told you have breast cancer. Have you met your breast care nurse yet? They can be a great source of comfort and information and there may be some support groups in your area for you to connect with and talk to others who are in the same boat. My turning point came with my reconstruction, when I felt more in control of what was to happen, and in connecting with others on here and in my local area who understood my fears and anxieties. There is nothing quite like the support and understanding of others who have travelled this path so don't be afraid to reach out. For me, acceptance is still a work in progress, but as time goes on it does get a bit easier. Take care, Jane xx