Confussed and scared

It's all very difficult at first. When you know more, it actually gets a bit easier! Dr Google will only do you harm so give him up! Cancer is immensely variable (quite clever really although none of us like that part!!)  and one person's symptoms/side effects/outcomes don't necessarily apply to someone else. Main thing is to have a medical team you trust and then take their advice. I was 67 when first diagnosed, no family history of any cancer. I mark 6 years clear next month, am still working and living a normal life. It's very natural to have your brain ranging over every possible 'what if' imaginable. It also does little good, you can waste a lot of energy worrying over things that won't happen. Trick is to try and do two apparently very different things simultaneously - take one day at a time, but look far, far ahead to putting this all behind you. Being positive doesn't necessarily make you better but it helps no end as you go through all the stuff to get better! Glad you have support, that's a huge plus. This network is full of people who can provide sensible, reliable information, listen to you when you feel down, and cheer you on the way through your treatment. Best wishes.