Hi @wonk sorry you find yourself here.
It sounds like you are another of the super organised (there are quite a few of us) Getting some plans in place is great, but be prepared for things to go a bit pear shaped. It happens. That manic planning, worrying, juggling and second guessing phase is common. Its hard to sleep when your brain is doing a gazillion miles an hour, day and night.
I think once you get your head around an extremely frustrating lack of control on one hand and a fairly regimented treatment plan on the other, life gets a bit easier. Or maybe we just become so exhausted by the whole performance we just accept it.
Good luck with telling your family and your surgery. There's a post called 'night howls' which acts like a chat forum for those who are sleepless in the dark hours. Mxx