Hi my name is Sarah, 54yrs old and just learnt I have stage 3 breast cancer with more to come. I live in Mandurah WA but happy to chat with others anywhere. I had the news a few days ago and more tests tomorrow and know I will be having surgery once they shrink my tumor. Also have a unhealing left humerus. I have terrible dreams and dread nights. I am always up by 4am. Anyone else in the same boat?
Good luck everyone who is for whatever reason reading this blog.
Sarah
Thank you Joy and so sorry to hear of your struggle with your days, they are long days for me without work due to my broken bone. Nearly 12 weeks and now face months without work. I get into the garden at 5am and pottery but by 11am exchausted and then spend so many hours to wait wait wait for results or the next appointment. I love getting into my comfortable bed but hate the dreams and night sweats. I wake up sobbing I do not do it delibertaly it just happens, so I get up and start my day. I hate being sad, feeling guilty at what a burden I am going to be on my children, I don't have a partner. I know in a few weeks I will have adjusted it's human nature and look forward to that time. Thanks for your reply. Good luck with your journey.
Take care Sarah
thanks so much for replying Roybn it's lovely to see I am up and running so I can contact with other women doing the same thing as me. What a club! Nice to hear your daughter is so good. and best of luck with your treatment. Thanks for your advise
Hi Sarah, I am sorry that you find yourself on this journey but like Robyn said you have definitely come to the right place. I have stage 3 breast cancer and am Triple Negative. I have had a mastectomy and auxilliary clearance with 8/25 nodes positive for cancer. Margins were clear and all body scans also clear which is my positive out of all this.
I have had one round of chemo and due to have 2nd this Friday. I am a little different to you in that I can't wait for the night to come so that I can go to bed and forget about it. I find the days are so long and a struggle to get through sometimes. The oncologist prescribed sleeping tablets for me because I kept waking up. I do tend to wake at about 4:00 am though.
Most mornings I go for a walk at 5:00 while it is still cool and I swim in the afternoon to strengthen my arm after surgery.
The mantra you will find here is "take one day at a time" and it is so true. Try very hard not to race ahead and think the worst.
I am a christian women but found a Meditation on Sickness by the Delai Lama very helpful. When I am feeling a little anxious I read it:
"Whatever your situation, remember that worrying is pointless; it only adds to the suffering you already have. I often cite a very useful expression by the Indian Sage Shantideva, who basically said this: If there is a solution, what is the point of being anxious? Be content to apply it. And if there is no solution, what is the point of being anxious? Anxiety will only make your suffering worse."
I have in the past suffered and been treated for nxiety and I don't want to go back to that dark place.
When I was first diagnosed I read this over and over again and now when I feel anxious I just remind myself that I am choosing to terrorise myself by thinking about all the what ifs of the future.
I hope that you will work out a way to be kind to yourself.
Big hugs
Joy
