Hi my name is claudia I have been diagnosed with breast cancer 19/5/2013 since then have gone through my first operation just removing my cancer. But before leaving hospital the doctor told me they found more than they thought. Now I am worried about the result and am having a really hard time dealing with the fact I have cancer and why me . I feel like there is no reason to live or even get up every morning why is this happening I have just started and I dont know how I am going to deal with it .

Hello Claudia I also felt overwhelmed when I was first diagnosed but now six months down the track, the treatment becomes part of your new life and you become used to it. When I had my lumpectomy they didn't get clear margins so I had to have a second surgery 4 days later. And then I thought I was only having a few lymph nodes out. But after surgery, I was told that they had taken all of my lymph nodes out (27) and 17 of them had cancer. It threw me back for a while. But now I am just getting on with the rest of my treatments and trying to live life the best I can. I know it's hard but try to stay positive and battle on!! Lisa xx

Hi Claudia. Nice to meet you even under the circumstances xx. The diagnoses is so so overwhelming. But you get through it. If you could of seen me in September last year compared to what im like now, you would be shocked. I was a mess. I was a right off. Couldn't see forward longer than a few hours. The wonderful girls here helped me through, gave me the courage to push through when I thought I couldn't get there. But here I am, here to be here for you going through what we all go through and feel. I first had a lumpectomy followed by a mastectomy and full axillary clearance. I then had 18 weeks of chemo, and I just finished radiation 2 weeks ago. I've just started on tamoxifen xxx You can do this. We will be here helping you each step of the way. Jodiexxx

I too, could tell by my surgeon's face that there was more to it than a simple 2.5cm tumour. It turned out to be two joined together adding up to just under 5cm and Stage 3. I had 5 out of 17 lymph nodes affected. I'm almost finished my six months of chemo and will have a mastectomy at the end of the month before 5 weeks of radiotherapy. I am optimistic that I will have many years of active life ahead of me and that's not a Pollyanna attitude to have. It does rearrange your ideas about what you think is worthwile being active for though, and that's not an easy process to get through and I haven't finished figuring it out yet. Be very, very kind to yourself. If some goal seems suddenly out of reach for now, just give it a bit of space for now, there's no hurry. Like you I did have some fairly doom-laden feelings early on when I realised the lump I had was not a cyst in the ultrasound. But amazingly, I've had few of these during treatment, because a few things start to come together that you can't see at first and it's people, social support, information, and that one step at a time thing going on leading to you feeling that you can do everything you need to do after all and that you ARE in control of your experience. I do feel in control for now, and that's partly because I can come here and ask for information, read other people's experiences and know what to expect. I can read the BCNA handbooks which are excellent, and download snippets from the links on the website and they help me when I want to ask questions of the nurses at chemo and especially my breast surgeon and oncologist. I've had a very supportive family, meetups with friends and walks with my dog. I'm always impressed by the people I meet when I'm in chemo, the nurses are utterly fantastic. Everyone just gets on with it. It all helps amazingly well. Find someone who knows what you are going through (to manage the info overload!) and have a good chat. By far my best support and resource has been a McGrath Foundation Breast Care nurse, but there are also volunteer breast cancer support groups around who have great people to chat to as well. Posting here is an excellent move as there are so many wise and compassionate people. :) Sorry for the long post, I get so enthusiastic (especially since I had chemo today and the premed that you take to reduce side effects makes me quite the speedy rabbit :)). What you need to know is that people will care about you, and amazingly, you will get out of bed and keep going through good days and bad. Walks and talks are so helpful with fatigue and crap feelings. The very best of good wishes, Meg xxx

Yes, that was far too long a post! What they said - beautifully. Cheers, Meg x

breast cancer diagnosed | BCNA Online Network

15 Replies

JodieWall
Member
12 years ago
Bummer. I'm in Brisbane :-(
Deanne
Member
12 years ago
I am glad that you don't require anymore surgery for now. It sounds like you have been through an enormous amount with your Mum and yourself. Do you have a breast care nurse who you can talk to about your treatment, and options if your genetic testing results come back positive? It is an awful lot to worry about for you and maybe she could also organize some counseling and extra support for you. The more support you have the better you will cope with everything. Thinking of you and hoping that things improve for you soon. Take care. Deanne xxx
claudiamag
Member
12 years ago
Jodie I live in sydney in prairiewood its in the wetherill park area I just need to talk to someone who understands what is going on
Chris_P
Member
12 years ago
There are times when it's all too much and you feel totally overwhelmed and it's natural to feel like that. I found for me the best way was to deal with it in small steps and not think too far in advance. Get through today and tomorrow's worries will be dealt with tomorrow. If you wake up feeling like it's too much, make yourself get up, get dressed, make the bed, all small stuff but a bloody achievement compared to turning your face to the wall. Above all remember to be kind to yourself!
JodieWall
Member
12 years ago
where are you claudia? you may be near a few of us so we can meet up and give you a huge hug xxxx
JodieWall
Member
12 years ago
where are you claudia? you may be near a few of us so we can meet up and give you a huge hug xxxx
Deanne
Member
12 years ago
The support or lack of it that comes from those around us can make all the difference. BCNA have a great pamphlet to give to people about helping someone when they are diagnosed with breast cancer. Have you got your My Journey Kit yet? Maybe you could leave a few lying around for people to read. It is very difficult for some people to know what to say or do. Everybody just does what they think is best. Some people have a fear of upsetting you by talking about it. Remember if you are having a difficult time working out how to react then they probably are too. I had some great support from family but lost a friend who just did distanced herself from me. What you will find is that talking with others on this site will help. We have all been where you are now and we understand how difficult it is. Please keep in touch. Deanne xxx
claudiamag
Member
12 years ago
thankyou everybody for giving me a reason to live its so hard I ave no one to talk to everybody around me are trying to pretend its nothing what do i do its driving me crazy I want to scream to them and say hey its cancer not contagoius
claudiamag
Member
12 years ago
thankyou everybody for giving me a reason to live its so hard I ave no one to talk to everybody around me are trying to pretend its nothing what do i do its driving me crazy I want to scream to them and say hey its cancer not contagoius
Sarah54
Member
12 years ago
I got a bit like that but decided that standing in front of the mirror and saying "well I am not going to die to-day" helped me hugely. How many don't have that choice when they jump into their cars and get killed. We are given the opportunity to take stock and lighten up and take time to smell the roses, put plans into place and bring the family/friends to gether and appriciate each other, mend silly arguments and really begin to enjoy life in a different way.

Good luck and healing hugs

SarahX