Hi @Bowie - I am so sorry about your diagnosis. You will find so many kindred spirits on this site !
The 4 am horrors are the worst (or at anytime in the middle of the night for that matter).
At a time in your life when you feel so alone and isolated and that nobody understands you - we know what it feels like. It does not make each one of those dark thoughts subside but it is the new, crazy kind of normal that is bc.
Well done on you for taking a trip to the shops - driving for the first time in 8 days. It is all now a life of firsts - drive in the car; trip to the shops; out with friends. You look at your "new body" and feel like you are living an out of body experience.
So glad you are seeing your GP tomorrow. That will be an opportunity to talk with your GP and let them know you are finding all of this so overwhelming - perfectly normal. To be told that "we are all going to die of something one day" is not helpful and I am sure you have heard lots of platitudes (as we all have !). People try and make you feel better because they do not know what to say. That is their problem - not yours.
I also found the telephone counsellors through the BCNA website so invaluable.
Keep up the jigsaw puzzles - huge virtual hugs to you <3
Sheryl xxx
