Hi @CatNev,
Your post brought back very clear memories of my first chemo. I remember saying to my family, that I did not know how I was going to do this even once more, let alone over and over, again and again. I think it is the effects of the steroid drugs and probably our natural anxiety too. I would feel very blue for a few days each cycle. Chemo is hard but I did get through every single one and you will too.
Believe it or not you kind of get into a rhythm after a while and you know you will have some bad days but hopefully some better days too. It honestly is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but you just take it one chemo, one day at a time. I planned some little rewards for the days when I would feel ok. This really helped me to keep going. It helps to have something nice to look forward to, or it did for me.
Here I am almost 4 years later and I'm well and very happy with my life. I would not be here in this situation if I had not had treatment. So remember one day this will be you. Looking back and realizing how tough it was but so glad that your life is good again. Take care. Deanne xxx