Hey @Igray3911, if you feel the need to have a good cry - do it!!! Get it out of your system, rid yourself of some of the anxiety. Bloody hell if you can't get away with having a good old shoulder wracking sob with everything your going through at the moment there is something wrong!! I still get the bugs under the skin 10 months down the track and now just think ok there they go again. For constipation you could also try normocol plus (from the chemist) which is a very gentle laxative which doesn't give any cramping. As for the anniversary can you perhaps do something to commemorate your friends life, it might help deal with any survivor guilt that you may be subconsciously dealing with. And last but certainly not the least sending you a big warm enveloping hug. Xx Cath