Forum Discussion
A tiny inflatable boat in a huge storm
Like many others, here I am joining this not-so-sought-after club- and feeling very much like a tiny inflatable boat in a stormy sea.
I‘be just been diagnosed this week, although the process has been a bit back to front due to how busy things are during COVID. It feels like everything is happening all at once. Every day this week my understanding of my situation has radically changed. My brain is struggling to comprehend.
What I know so far is that it is 99.9% likely that I have inflammatory breast cancer. Even before the biopsy the doctor was prepping me for the likelihood of chemo starting next week (🙀👎💩). But now, having received my FNA and core biopsy, the appointment has been moved up to tomorrow. Understandably I am freaking the @&$! out!
My rational brain knows this is “bad but good”. Bad news, but good to have modern medicine, urgent care, to know this is happening in my body.
I’m struggling to keep up with the pace of things, let alone telling people in my world AND figuring out what to do as a self-employed business owner.
Finally I come to my question: for those of you who have been in this “new diagnosis shock” stage, what are the things you think can wait, and what are the things a person should focus on at this time? Eg/ should I be worrying about my business right now? How much should I let everything fall apart?
I‘be just been diagnosed this week, although the process has been a bit back to front due to how busy things are during COVID. It feels like everything is happening all at once. Every day this week my understanding of my situation has radically changed. My brain is struggling to comprehend.
What I know so far is that it is 99.9% likely that I have inflammatory breast cancer. Even before the biopsy the doctor was prepping me for the likelihood of chemo starting next week (🙀👎💩). But now, having received my FNA and core biopsy, the appointment has been moved up to tomorrow. Understandably I am freaking the @&$! out!
My rational brain knows this is “bad but good”. Bad news, but good to have modern medicine, urgent care, to know this is happening in my body.
I’m struggling to keep up with the pace of things, let alone telling people in my world AND figuring out what to do as a self-employed business owner.
Finally I come to my question: for those of you who have been in this “new diagnosis shock” stage, what are the things you think can wait, and what are the things a person should focus on at this time? Eg/ should I be worrying about my business right now? How much should I let everything fall apart?
Well, that turned into an essay-length vomit of all my feelings but having read other posts, I know I’m not alone in this weird state of diagnosis mind!!!
(Thank you to all the posters on this site for your generosity in sharing your painful experiences, searching the threads has been really useful and helped me to gain a little more perspective with everything I read).
(Thank you to all the posters on this site for your generosity in sharing your painful experiences, searching the threads has been really useful and helped me to gain a little more perspective with everything I read).
33 Replies
- Loving the positive mindset and humour 🙏 you got this! 🙌💪💅
- @Lotringer have you connected with the IBC Foundation? They have a small but active private Facebook group for Australian women with IBC. I only came across it yesterday but it seems a really current, active group with lots of great info about best practice treatment protocols for IBC. If you can’t find a link let me know and I can send.
- Hi @RiotAtMidnight!
I’m a fellow IBC-er so can definitely relate to the sudden rush of tests and treatment plans around diagnosis! Luckily my workplace (a small family business) was super helpful with basically letting me drop everything for a while, and I had my Mum come live with me. While I’m normally fiercely independent (some would say stubborn!), just having someone else there who organised all the meals, grocery shopping, vacuuming etc gave me a lot more headspace to process what was happening. Mum’s sister also stayed for a bit, to help out and also support Mum. Don’t be afraid to call in the troops (family or friends) to help make your life easier and simpler :) - You're amazing. It'll all work out and it's normal what you're feeling. Once you start treatment you'll see how you'll feel and can make more decisions from there. Just stock up on food and frozen meals and Netflix.
- Hi @RiotAtMidnight I love your name! Too funny!
I’m someone who had her “recon -at - the -same- time - as -surgery plans “thrown out the window due to STUPID covid but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise despite being annoying at the time. I’m totally rethinking what I want to do re surgery. What I’m trying not very well to say is try not to rush into decision making for non urgent things. Your head spins at diagnosis and it’s hard to process everything at once.
Big hugs
Caz xxx - @RiotAtMidnight all the ladies above have so much wisdom to share. I know I could not have got through the past 10 months without this fabulous online forum. I would have been crumpled in a corner unable to move! To have someone I havent met before send kind words of encouragement and even just a hello how are you has been incredible.
I want to send a big hug you all. After 2 surgeries, 6 months of chemo, emergency stay in hospital I have today finished 5 weeks of daily radiation. The roller coaster of emotions has been huge. I am booked to see my counsellor next week as I have finished "active treatment today" so many other issues, worries etc just bubbled over and I am an anxious mess.
I have also learnt some valuable lessons along the way and I now try to put myself first a tiny bit without having guilt attached to it. I have also learnt to accept the help that family and friends and even strangers offer if it is what I need. That it's not a sign of weakness. Sending you Hugs xxx - @RiotAtMidnight what fantastic advice from the ladies above! 👏🏻. I see a common trend in these posts. We all have difficulty giving to ourselves first, if at all. There seems to be some shame or guilt in dedicating time and attention to ourselves. It’s almost unthinkable. And here we are, writing in a bc forum.I think learning this new skill of self care and self love is pretty vital. As it was said, we can’t give if we don’t have. And it is def the perfect time to start unloading on a psychologist or counsellor. Mine helped me more than I could imagine, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find it very helpful too.You’re doing well 😊♥️
- @RiotAtMidnight
A psychologist in your armoury is a good idea and if you can’t do a bit of introspection at this time, when can you? A very good counsellor introduced me to the idea of building energy when I was about six months into treatment. Expending energy? Sure! But building it? I had no
idea. I am sure most are better at it than I was but the resulting change made a big difference. You can’t take money out of the bank if it’s not there in the first place. - @RiotAtMidnight i too always put others first my whole life but cancer has made me look deep and change and it is really for the better and it takes practice but practice makes perfect. Think of it this way... we have a bucket of giveness but if the bucket is empty because we don't care for ourselves then we can't give from an empty bucket. So keep your bucket full by filling it with all your needs first and only give from a full bucket. 😆🌷
- @@Cath62 My username comes from this brilliant Twitter post from a few years ago. 😂
