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Molly001's avatar
Molly001
Member
8 years ago

Treatment finished

Well, after mastectomy & axillary clearance, chemo & radiotherapy my active treatment is finally finished. It's taken the better part of the year & I still have hormone therapy & a lot of healing to do, but I'm done. As I drove home yesterday after my last 'zap' rather than feeling joy, relief etc. I was feeling rather despondent. I couldn't help reflecting on all I've lost & endured this year when I should've been out & about with my young kids & friends enjoying life. I couldn't help agonising over how far away pre-cancer life now feels and that it will never be like that again. I couldn't help feeling distressed that my doctors are all only now interested in seeing me again to sign me off & send me out into the world like a ticking time bomb, never knowing if and when it will return. Cancer, you're a real arsehole. That's enough now. I'm taking back my joy.
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    8 years ago
    Too right you are!! Treatment is very reassuring to some extent, no matter how unpleasant. We do as we are asked and can get up in the weekly/monthly cycles. Then all that ends and you have to start building your new normal. It's hard. But it's worth doing. No you will never take life for granted again, but that insight can be positive not negative. No you can't reclaim a year of treatment, but you can learn from it. Joy is very precious and you have experienced losing it. Take it back, hold it fast. Cancer is part of your story, but you are in charge of the writing! Best wishes.