Too right you are!! Treatment is very reassuring to some extent, no matter how unpleasant. We do as we are asked and can get up in the weekly/monthly cycles. Then all that ends and you have to start building your new normal. It's hard. But it's worth doing. No you will never take life for granted again, but that insight can be positive not negative. No you can't reclaim a year of treatment, but you can learn from it. Joy is very precious and you have experienced losing it. Take it back, hold it fast. Cancer is part of your story, but you are in charge of the writing! Best wishes.