Three years on...

Thank you for sharing your 'journey'. I also really hated the word journey. I thought it somehow trivialised my diagnosis or tried to 'pretty it up'. But I have come to realise that it truly is a journey. Not one that anyone wants to travel but a journey none the less. I am at one year now of mine and have learnt a lot about myself and my attitude to life. I can fully understand how this can throw you into depression. I think after the tough stuff was over for me like the chemo and major surgery I had been left to my own devices so to speak. My medical appointments went from every three weeks to every three months which put me into a bit of a panic. You are so well looked after during chemo that when it's finished and your Onc says "well I don't need to see you again for another 3 months" it seems that the rug has been pulled from under you. "But who's going to checking if everything is alright?" Apprehension was the first thing I felt. Anxiety and Depression I can very easily understand anyone falling into after it's all supposedly 'done and dusted'. People expect you to just pick up the pieces and carry out and some women can do that. I hope I'm one of them but we need to remember that we have looked at our own mortality and that's scary stuff. Nobody should think they have failed in some way because they haven't gotten back to normal. Life is pretty fluid anyway. We also mustn't think we've failed when we haven't changed the way we live our lives either. Yes it's great to exercise and eat all the right things. We should all do that and it will make us feel a lot better. But none of us will ever know if this will stop cancer in it's tracks for all of us. Some of the most fit and healthy people in the world have been diagnosed with some form of it. So Leanne I think from what I've read of your three year anniversary, you are doing alright. All the best Janey xxx