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Loucobamd's avatar
Loucobamd
Member
11 years ago

Self image

Hi everyone, I'm new to the LLL group but I would like to share my story and ask a few questions. I was diagnosed with DCIS in September and a had mastectomy at the end of October on one side. I will be having my other breast removed and reconstruction in March. I did not need to have any other treatment no chemo or radio or tamoxifen. I started menopause about 18 months ago and have had sporadic hot flushes night sweats moodiness and vaginal dryness, most of the time it's bearable. It's good to be able to share some of my more intimate problems as I feel I can't talk to anyone else. I recovered well from the mastectomy and was back at work on light duties after two weeks. I have just returned to the gym and doing Aqua classes which I have found to be quite ok even with my one boob. Me and my partner have always enjoyed going into the city for a dance on a Saturday night, at the moment I'm really struggling with my body image. I have a prosthesis which helps with the external side of things. On the inside I really don't like my body anymore when I get dressed or undressed I'm reminded of my missing boob. I have lost all my confidence in the way I look now. I never thought I was really that into boobs anyway seems I was wrong. Everywhere I used to go seems to be full of young women with lovely boobs and oodles of confidence, I used to be that person. I don't know how to get back to that and wonder if I will ever feel the same again. Sexually I feel the same it's hard for me to enjoy sex like I used to. I realise that there is other ways without boobs but I feel sad that I have lost that part of sex. Is this normal? Do these feelings last? My partner has been fantastic in getting me out and about walking and cycling again. He has not seen my body naked since the mastectomy and I know he feels very awkward about this as he doesn't want to have the wrong reaction when he does. I would love to hear what other women have done to get there head around all of these thoughts and feelings as I don't know what to do with them. Thank you. Louise

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  • Merlins_mum's avatar
    Merlins_mum
    Member
    11 years ago

    What you are going through is very normal...just not much fun. I had a left mastectomy and a rebuild with expanders then implants. As I was almost 60 I was well into menopause when the Cancer turned up. Unfortunately it was my husbands favourite boob and he is still trying to bond with the real one on the other side. Lol. I am not sure how well your scaring is healing but mine was slow. On the nights I felt very sensitive about the missing boob I would wear a stretchy lacy top to bed. It just made me feel better. It has probably taken a year, and a new nipple for me to be very comfortable about wandering around naked like I used to. I do feel sorry for the husbands tho. They try so hard not to do or say the wrong thing, well the nice ones anyway. As for seeing the missing bit for the first time, I gave my husband two whiskeys then whipped off the dressings. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his reaction. He looked like a stunned mullet but recovered enough to pour himself another whiskey! This was 12 months ago. Sex is slowly recovering some of its spark, thanks to info from this groups shared experiences. I don't know that he will ever be fond of my rebuilt boob BUT it is pretty good in clothes. I swim in my usual swimsuit, wear low cut tops and have perkier boobs than in my 20's. Everything has an upside. It gets better. Laugh together. Don't take reactions too personally or seriously. We are very fortunate women. Stay in touch. This is a group you can talk about anything in. Love to you both. Julie

  • Merlins_mum's avatar
    Merlins_mum
    Member
    11 years ago

    What you are going through is very normal...just not much fun. I had a left mastectomy and a rebuild with expanders then implants. As I was almost 60 I was well into menopause when the Cancer turned up. Unfortunately it was my husbands favourite boob and he is still trying to bond with the real one on the other side. Lol. I am not sure how well your scaring is healing but mine was slow. On the nights I felt very sensitive about the missing boob I would wear a stretchy lacy top to bed. It just made me feel better. It has probably taken a year, and a new nipple for me to be very comfortable about wandering around naked like I used to. I do feel sorry for the husbands tho. They try so hard not to do or say the wrong thing, well the nice ones anyway. As for seeing the missing bit for the first time, I gave my husband two whiskeys then whipped off the dressings. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his reaction. He looked like a stunned mullet but recovered enough to pour himself another whiskey! This was 12 months ago. Sex is slowly recovering some of its spark, thanks to info from this groups shared experiences. I don't know that he will ever be fond of my rebuilt boob BUT it is pretty good in clothes. I swim in my usual swimsuit, wear low cut tops and have perkier boobs than in my 20's. Everything has an upside. It gets better. Laugh together. Don't take reactions too personally or seriously. We are very fortunate women. Stay in touch. This is a group you can talk about anything in. Love to you both. Julie

  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    11 years ago
    Hi Louise I can't compare as I have only had a lumpectomy but it does affect your self image. My husband doesn't want to look as he is extremely squeamish at the best of times. He won't even look at where my port is let alone touch me. I have literally just finished 33 radiotherapy treatments and am burnt and blistered. Hubby won't come near me. We no longer have a sex life as my girlie bits have shrivelled up and died, waiting to see the oncologist for suggestions as my gp couldn't help. I don't have any answers and truly do wonder if things will ever get better on that front. I'm very particular in the clothes that I wear so that none of my breast/s is showing in any way. I am very conscious that they aren't the same size now so don't wear anything tight either. I guess we get used to it eventually. I certainly hope so! Good luck with it all. Karen xox