Partners

I think sometimes I am my own worst enemy by being too competent - I find I am then expected to always be so regardless of my own wellbeing - I was astounded to be told by my daughter after my surgery she never worried as she knew I’d come through just like I always had before and my husband still believes I was cured back in March when I had surgery - I sometimes think it suits my family to hold these beliefs. I am not saying my family are bad people but they have grown comfortably accustomed to Mrs Organiser/ Fix it and are failing to see both my age - 63- and my emotional state and have really shown little effort in understanding what exactly has happened to me preferring to believe I am still Superwoman/Wonderwoman. I feel somewhat hung by my own petard and am struggling to dispel the myth.Life for me changed last March just wish my family could see that.At the risk of being a broken record one of the other reasons I have taken up walking for an hour daily is to have an outlet for my frustration with my family rather than deal with it more negatively ie it helps me manage me to stay calm , switch off sometimes , think at other times and in the words of the song” Let it go” - I can’t change others but I can change how I react.

Hi @Spiv1803 , perhaps when your partner is sober you could give him the telephone numbers to both BCNA helpline 1800 500 258 (Tues & Thur to 9pm) or Cancer Council 131120 (on a bit of paper he can carry with him) and let him know that if he needs to talk to someone about his fears for your well being and your life together, that there is help for him too.
If his drinking has escalated since your diagnosis can you voice your concern to him about this? Perhaps even try and work on a different type of social outing that the two of you can occasionally enjoy together - perhaps something like golf? Hope it improves for you. Xx Cath