New diagnosis

Hi Sarah (and also Jen), Thought I'd put this here because Jen will be asked about her wishes re reconstruction when she sees her surgeon. But you mention your new decision about reconstruction. . My daughter just gave me some information about breast reconstruction, that I had not come across before that I thought you might find helpful since last post you were upset that you had to wait a year before you could consider it.. I too was deciding that I probably would not have breast reconstruction, though I have put that decision off to Feb15 or Sept 15. Personally, I want to wait through the period when a local recurrence is most likely so they don't have to cut it all out again for further surgery, and so I am not checking for lumps through a breast which is in the process of being reconstructed so likely to be lumpy anyway. But that's just me, and others, maybe you, see it differently

First is that you can have a good and effective breast reconstruction done months or even years after a mastectomy so you don't have to make a permanent decision now. Second is that so long as you have not had intensive radiotherapy on the chest skin and it will still stretch ok, you can often have the skin stretched with expanders and then an implant inserted, either silicon or saline to reshape the breast or breasts, and these are now generally really safe, not like the old ones. Then a nipple can be surgically constructed and an areola tattooed on. Third  they have developed an amazing array of surgical techniques that use either stomach tissue or shoulder/back muscle tissue to create a breast from your own tissue, with an implant if necessary to enlarge it beyond the size possible with your own tissue.

Isn't it an amazing world we live in!

Jessica

I meant do come along (not alone) to next get together! (chemo brain still kicking in sometimes)

Hello Jen

Gosh I remember what it's like at the beginning. Don't be shy at having a jolly good melt down/temper tandrum or just a good cry.Take one day at a time and try of course to take someone with you to all appointments because love, you think you can remember, but it's wise to have someone else there either recording (ask permission) or writing down.

In a lot of respects the cancer journey will bring out the best in you it can bring a family together. Wait for it to happen and this time in 6 months you will be able to help some person just in your position. Just like me who is determined to be on the road of recovery. I only have 6 weeks of radiation left as I start Monday but I have done 5 months of chemo and had a bi-lateral mastectomy a month ago. I had 20 G girls and I feel I move like a grey hound now!!!!!!!!! I will not be getting re-contrustion but I am 55yrs old and that decision is the right one for me. I am also a public patient and proud that WA have the best in Breast Cancer. Keep in touch and do come alone to next get to gether held in Mount Lawley. If you need any help with transport let me know or Mich who can arrange anything!

Cbyer hugs and you can do this girls.

Sarah

Hi, Sorry to hear people are doing this to you. It is a pain isn't it!

it can feel like a kick in the teeth when other people dismiss and minimalise your situation by saying "Aren't you lucky?" when instead you need them to acknowlege your very natural fear and distress, and meet you where you are and respond to your need for understanding  and empathy instead of dismissing it to make themselves feel better. If you have just told them that you feel you are lucky for whatever reason, that is fine, but when all you have told them is your diagnosis, it demonstrates really bad communication and  interpersonal skills to respond that way.

Sometimes they really don't have the capacity for empathy and are likely to be people you are better to see less of for your own sake during your cancer journey. But sometimes they just have no idea what to say and are too shocked by your situation to be sensitive enough to take their cues from you. And a bit of education may solve the problem.

There is a great little book (free) put together by the Breast Cancer Research Centre called "The Power of Words" which can help our nearest and dearest get a better feel for how to talk to us about our cancer. Their phone number is : (08)93212354 I got a copy in my oncologist/breast cancer surgeons rooms in the Mount hospital, but you can also download it online and email it to some or all of your friends and relations. Just google BCRC and "the power of words" for the link.. It may change their behaviour, but if it doesn't, it gives you a basis for pointing out what they are doing wrong and why it doesn't help.  Good luck and best wishes, JessicaV