New diagnosis
I was diagnosed with early breast cancer last Thursday. I don't see my medical team til the 11th and each day feels like a month! One minute I'm happy that it's small and detected early, the next I'm ...
Forum Discussion
Hi, Sorry to hear people are doing this to you. It is a pain isn't it!
it can feel like a kick in the teeth when other people dismiss and minimalise your situation by saying "Aren't you lucky?" when instead you need them to acknowlege your very natural fear and distress, and meet you where you are and respond to your need for understanding and empathy instead of dismissing it to make themselves feel better. If you have just told them that you feel you are lucky for whatever reason, that is fine, but when all you have told them is your diagnosis, it demonstrates really bad communication and interpersonal skills to respond that way.
Sometimes they really don't have the capacity for empathy and are likely to be people you are better to see less of for your own sake during your cancer journey. But sometimes they just have no idea what to say and are too shocked by your situation to be sensitive enough to take their cues from you. And a bit of education may solve the problem.
There is a great little book (free) put together by the Breast Cancer Research Centre called "The Power of Words" which can help our nearest and dearest get a better feel for how to talk to us about our cancer. Their phone number is : (08)93212354 I got a copy in my oncologist/breast cancer surgeons rooms in the Mount hospital, but you can also download it online and email it to some or all of your friends and relations. Just google BCRC and "the power of words" for the link.. It may change their behaviour, but if it doesn't, it gives you a basis for pointing out what they are doing wrong and why it doesn't help. Good luck and best wishes, JessicaV