Missing my privacy

Hi - I too live in a country town and know exactly what you mean about everybody knows everybody - and more importantly everyone knows what's going on and what they don't know they make up!!!!  

However on the flipside, country people are the most generous in giving and when you are going through any sort of trauma will be the first to lend a hand, cook a meal, pick your kids up and generally just be there - which if you are not used to that can be a challenge.

I was diagnosed also at 45, had bilateral mastectomy but did not have chemo so could have kept my journey private however I chose to be public for a number of reasons - if I was having a bad day I didn't have to hide it, when I needed help I asked for it, if my kids were being difficult then they were cut a little slack.

BUT most importantly I felt that if my journey prompted someone else to check their own boobs, have a mammogram, pick up the phone to ask a friend with BC if they were OK, have their husbands more BC aware etc THEN my BC had served a greater purpose.

I remember distinctly being at a regional netball training with my daughter only a week after I had my initial lumpectomy and sitting alone with another mother (who I didn't know particularly well) watching our girls train. She asked me what I did during the school holidays and I began "Well I was diagnosed with BC but it's all good" - and then proceeded to yack about my history and impending treatment. I looked over at her and she had tears streaming down her cheeks - my first thought was "Oh shit what have I said!" and proceeded to apologise.  She looked at me and said "I had the same thing a couple of years ago but didn't tell anyone - not even my mother" - the look of relief on her face and the conversation that ensued will remain with me always. 

I have many stories of at the time blokes in the pub looking at my chest and asking how I was - I would look back at them and say "I am and They are fine" while pointing to my boobs - one night one of them told me that his wife was going for a mammogram as a result of him telling her about me.  

I was at zumba one day and a lady that I didn't even know asked me if I was Raelee's daughter (Mum had BC also) and told me that she had been talking to Mum one day and as a result had a mammogram, was diagnosed early, had treatment and was doing well.

Is a pretty amazing feeling to know that we have made a difference..

I know that we all cope differently and as you are, not everyone will be comfortable with people knowing - the most important thing that I found was beginning my story with "I was diagnosed with BC BUT I am doing just fine..." - it always started the conversation on a positive level.

No matter what happens, hold your head high - the ones that truly matter know the real story ............

Leanne xx :-)