I just wanted to tell you all a little story. I was out doing some much needed Christmas shopping today. Yes it's 40 degrees here in Melbourne today and I decide to shop. What an idiot!!!!! But I have been unwell and unmotivated to shop this last week because of this damn annoying cold. I think it's okay and then it seems to freshen up again and I'm sore from coughing and my nose is crusty. Arhhhhh, you know the deal with colds. But back to shopping. I had picked up some presents and I was tired and my feet hurt so I sat down to lunch. Bought a bottle of water because stupid me left my bottle in my hot car. This all sounds innocent enough doesn't it. Well I thought I'd better have some water as I had not hydrated enough today of all days. But try as I might I couldn't get the top off the bottle. I sat there trying for a good five minutes then I got really emotional and couldn't stop myself from crying. I had to retreat into the ladies to calm myself down. Talk about melt down. Over a water bottle. Is this silly or what? Ladies those of you who are just starting on this journey take heart. It's okay to have a meltdown every now and again. It's all part of the process and I am not beating myself up about it but I just wish I wasn't in the middle of a crowded food hall at a major shopping centre LOL How embarrassing!

Hi Janey , You poor thing . I read your posts and advice to others and you are so strong . I wish I could be more like you ! It's amazing what little things can set us off though and in my case there are still tears most days . I hope you got your shopping done and have a lovely Christmas with your family . You deserve it ! Sophie xoxo

Hi Janey I haven't even started chemo yet and I am already having melt downs. I am a nervous wreck as a passenger in the car and today found myself crying in the Medicare Office because I am annoying my husband with my anxiety. On the way home I was wondering if I should seek help for my out of control anxiety, but from what you are discribing it sound like it is all par for the course. I guess we all all feel very vulnerable and fragile during this process. Glad to hear you aren't beating yourself up over this meltdown. I will do the same. Love Joy xx

I find it kind of funny now looking back on it. I must have looked ridiculous. Not that I think everyone was looking at me but at a moment like that it feels like every eye on the planet is fixed on you. I was self conscious enough going out in public for THE very first time without my scarf and my oh so short grey curly hair on show. Oh well, stuff happens. Janey xxx

We are going through physical and emotional turmoil on this journey and we all will be visited by meltdowns, big and small. It's perfectly normal :) Janey xxx

Mini Meltdown | BCNA Online Network

38 Replies

mum2jj
Member
12 years ago
Thanks Janey. Went to bed but up again. Snoring husband doesn't help. Have a houseful as Mum And Dad here helping at the mo(bless them) and my sister flew in just for the night and so no spare beds at the inn. If I introduce another pillow to our room... Hubbie and PS surgeon were joking about the breeding pillows last time we saw him. Hehehehehe I know early days. I actually could probably easily sleep on my side, just worried I will damage something. Thanks and hope you sleeping soundly Paula x
Janey235
Member
12 years ago
Yes it does take a while before you are able to roll over. I think it took me about a month. I found that if I put a pillow lengthwise along my side and one on my other side under my shoulder and hip, I could ease over a bit onto my opposite hip and shoulder. Kind of at a 45 degree angle. If this makes sense. Helped a bit until I could roll all the way onto my side. I still sleep with a pillow between my knees though. I found it help ease the pressure on my tummy when my leg is elevated a bit. Only early days for you Paula but it will come. And it's sooo good :) I'm going to try and get some sleep again now and I hope you can too. So nighty night. Janey xxx
mum2jj
Member
12 years ago
At least it's not quite as late for me in Qld. Keep thinking I will head to bed but have been having trouble sleeping since my surgery. Not much of a back sleeper. How long until you lay on your side to sleep again? I seem to wake frequently too. Have gradually downsized my pillow pile, only two under my head/shoulders and one under my knees so each night getting more comfortable. Sorry to go off on a tangent on your post. Paula :)
Janey235
Member
12 years ago
Night owls again hey. I am soooo wide awake at the mo. Thought I would go to sleep pretty easily after a long day. But as soon as I turned out the light, my mind clicked on and I can't sleep. Laid here for about an hour and gave in and turned the light back on. Oh well :)
mum2jj
Member
12 years ago
So glad. Paula :)
Janey235
Member
12 years ago
Yeah. Had a good day today even having Herceptin. My sister comes with me now and we have a great old chin wag and 'do lunch'. Second day 'going topless' and I felt good :) Janey xxx
Janey235
Member
12 years ago
I think I might use that. "Going topless". That's classic :)
Janey235
Member
12 years ago
I am so glad I posted about my 'episode' and found I'm not the only one who has these uncontrollable blubbers. I must say I have always been a bit of a softy. You know, cry at TV adverts and stuff! Well if we are a little more sensitive than before, perhaps that's not a bad thing. Shows our souls I think. Yep we are not invisible that's for sure. Hugs back to you Janey xxx
Janey235
Member
12 years ago
Thank you Anna. A friend of mine is a Physiologist and she suggested I do some Mindfulness meditation. We weren't having a sessions as such, just a chat with a cuppa and I happened to mention I was having some mood swings possibly from menopause. I have a DVD given to me from the BCN at Peter Mac on Mindfulness and Relaxation but have never viewed it. Perhaps I will google ACT and watch that DVD :) Janey xxx
adean
Member
12 years ago
For me mini meltdown watching the group of Xmas carol singers sing and howling into my coffee las Saturday. We are not invincible. Love adean xxx and a hug and tearsx