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PinkCollective's avatar
PinkCollective
Member
6 years ago

Feeling challenged by clothes shopping?

I'd like to reach out to other women who find it hard to buy clothes because of changes to their bodies brought about by breast cancer. I'm almost 60 now and have lived with a mastectomy for over 20 years, with a handful of those years as a younger woman dressing around a reconstruction that I had removed back in 2006. I have felt quite frustrated over this entire period with how hard it has been to find clothes with high necklines that don't gape and that also disguise the imbalance I have in my breast shape and nipple outline. I've never regretted having the mastectomy - but have been really surprised at how down I would get with clothes shopping, for I consider myself to be a fairly strong and resilient person. Over a decade ago now I surveyed 423 affected Australian women about difficulties they experience - and realised some of us live with quite a significant and silent problem. 

About two years ago I approached the fashion industry to see what could be done for us generally, after struggling for months to find an outfit for my daughter's wedding. I met with some very supportive retailers and from there sourced a web developer to build a fashion site tailored to our needs. It includes a filter that enables browsing by selecting for a whole range of design features that women after breast cancer seem to look for but struggle to find - e.g. loose sleeves for lymphoedema management, high necklines and disguising patterns to name a few. The site is called Pink Collective Styling and it's listed within the BCNA Service Directory which is found under the Menu Tab "Understanding Breast Cancer", then selecting for "Find Services & Support Near You" and then "Physical Appearance Support".  

This has just been a subject that has got under my skin over the years because I feel it's an unnecessary burden to have layered on top of all the tough decisions that go with breast cancer and getting on with life. I am keen to hear from anyone who can recommend a fashion label or retailer that you've found offers a great range that 'works' for your needs so I can continue to grow the site and make it as broadly useful to the breast cancer community as possible. I'd also be very keen to hear where the site doesn't quite cover your particular needs if you too find clothes shopping a struggle. Julie 


breast-reconstruction
emotions
lymphoedema
mastectomy
young-women

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  • jackie_4's avatar
    jackie_4
    Member
    6 years ago
    Hi Pink Collective.  The surgeons do wonderful work and am very grateful for what they have done for me, that is why I don't want to seem like a whinger. 
    When I had the reconstruction I did not want to go back as large as I was which was a DD cup.  Not enormous but during my three years with no breasts or prosthesis I quite enjoyed being smaller.  However I assume it is not an exact science and you get what you get.  Being my own tissue if I put on weight so do my "breasts" and visa versa.  However I thought I was getting larger and larger even though my weight was not increasing, so back to what I was.
    The op was enormous and certainly took some recovering.  The 'pants falling down' issue is what is most annoying now but just have to adapt. 
  • kmakm's avatar
    kmakm
    Member
    6 years ago
    I'm having similar difficulties as @"jackie 4". Having had a DIEP I am flat of stomach but broad of hip! Trousers that cater for the width have a large saggy pouch of fabric at the front for the stomach. Which I don't have. So it's quite difficult to find pants that look flattering. I'm not whingeing about it, it is what it is. But it tends to rule out a whole style of dressing which can be frustrating.
  • PinkCollective's avatar
    PinkCollective
    Member
    6 years ago
    Hi Sister, I can see from reading your profile that you've had an intense time with your breast cancer since diagnosis. I hope there are better days ahead for you. There were many women who took part in the survey I conducted into clothing difficulties who felt depressed by the shopping experience and frustrated by lack of age appropriate choice when it came to high necklined items.You're not alone with this flat feeling you are describing and your struggle regarding weight gain. The Pink Collective Styling website is designed to support women with these problems by allowing you to filter for 'high necklines' and 'loose fit' or even 'plus size' if appropriate. Some of the retailers on the site that offer affordable loose or plus size clothing are Birdsnest (Cooma), Ezibuy (online NZ), VERGE (NZ) and Marks & Spencer Aust online. There are over 50 retailers that support the site and if there is one thing I clearly see as I draw from their product lines to create the content for Pink Collective Styling, its that high necklines definitely do not have to equal dowdiness! I do hope things get easier for you. 

  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    6 years ago
    I have been thankful to my surgeon for years for leaving me ‘a little baggy’ - his words, not mine. He did it in case I changed my mind about no reconstruction (I haven’t) but it provides just a smidge of cleavage. Having never worn plunging necklines (my boobs were quite big enough to attract attention) I have never had to change what I wear. We can all adapt but I am grateful for what I don’t need to change. 
  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    6 years ago
    Clothes shopping has become so depressing - the continual weight gain from the AI is getting me down and I don't seem to be able to stop it.  And higher neckline shouldn't mean that I have to wear dowdy clothes.
  • PinkCollective's avatar
    PinkCollective
    Member
    6 years ago
    Hi Jackie, it's not easy is it? Thanks for telling me this. Speaking as a nurse and someone who has had a silicon implant in the past, I think there is a general misconception that reconstructive surgery automatically returns the body to 'normal'. Sometimes there are lots of compromises to be made alongsides the gains, aren't there? Are you happy with your reconstruction?
    You'll find the fashion showcased on Pink Collective Styling only caters to dressing around the chest and problems with lymphoedema. But thank you for educating me about how it is to live with a DIEP flap reconstruction. I'll keep what you've said in mind. Regards.  
  • jackie_4's avatar
    jackie_4
    Member
    6 years ago
    I ain understand completely what you are describing above. 
    After a double mastectomy in 2016 I was more aware of what features I looked for when shopping - the neckline being number one focus for me.  Did not have the cleavage to fill some garments.
    Have since had a diep flap reconstruction in 2019 so my abdominal spare tyre has gone, which in my case is causing another set of problems with my change of shape.  Pants have to fit my waist but then tend to fall down to the flat area.. Can pull my pants down without undoing some of them, hence my new best friends are draw string pants or a belt.
    Flat tummy, careful what you wish for 🙂.