Not coping well
Hi, I’m new to this. I have been getting fairly regular mammograms ect for years now due to strong family history of breast cancer. I’m 45 and have always looked after myself physically very well. No one aside from me had any issues until they were in their 50’s or 60’s. Aside from my great grandmother no one has had a mastectomy. So after postponing my mammogram for a year due to Covid I decided I needed to get it done before starting a new job. About a week after re entering the workforce I was told there was a problem. It took 2 biopsies and about 6 weeks before they confirmed DCIS medium grade (still don’t know what that means) and I was advised of my options. The options all seemed pretty awful but a double mastectomy with reconstruction (implants as I was told I’m too thin for flaps), seemed like the safest option but I’m ashamed to say it was also very high on my priority list that I’d look ok after. What irony!!! I’ve had three operations in ten days due to complications. I’m left without implants and due to skin necrosis I’ve lost one nipple and about a third of the skin on both flaps. I’ve just seen a second surgeon for a second opinion and it appears this could and probably should have all been avoided (I believe she said “what’s this?” When she saw the mess I’ve been left with) I had to explain why my skin was so damaged. I can’t have any reconstruction until possibly mid next year maybe later as I’ll lose my job if I have any more time off. I know I should be grateful to be alive, ( the surgeon kept telling me I’d dodged a bullet) but I feel devastated, broken and completely unattractive. My relationship with my partner is at best under enormous strain. Can anyone tell me how they got through losing their breasts and feeling incomplete? I feel ashamed even whinging here about this as I know it could have been so much worse. And yet I’m not ok at all and having a very hard time seeing any light at the end of this.
Feeling challenged by clothes shopping?
I'd like to reach out to other women who find it hard to buy clothes because of changes to their bodies brought about by breast cancer. I'm almost 60 now and have lived with a mastectomy for over 20 years, with a handful of those years as a younger woman dressing around a reconstruction that I had removed back in 2006. I have felt quite frustrated over this entire period with how hard it has been to find clothes with high necklines that don't gape and that also disguise the imbalance I have in my breast shape and nipple outline. I've never regretted having the mastectomy - but have been really surprised at how down I would get with clothes shopping, for I consider myself to be a fairly strong and resilient person. Over a decade ago now I surveyed 423 affected Australian women about difficulties they experience - and realised some of us live with quite a significant and silent problem. About two years ago I approached the fashion industry to see what could be done for us generally, after struggling for months to find an outfit for my daughter's wedding. I met with some very supportive retailers and from there sourced a web developer to build a fashion site tailored to our needs. It includes a filter that enables browsing by selecting for a whole range of design features that women after breast cancer seem to look for but struggle to find - e.g. loose sleeves for lymphoedema management, high necklines and disguising patterns to name a few. The site is called Pink Collective Styling and it's listed within the BCNA Service Directory which is found under the Menu Tab "Understanding Breast Cancer", then selecting for "Find Services & Support Near You" and then "Physical Appearance Support". This has just been a subject that has got under my skin over the years because I feel it's an unnecessary burden to have layered on top of all the tough decisions that go with breast cancer and getting on with life. I am keen to hear from anyone who can recommend a fashion label or retailer that you've found offers a great range that 'works' for your needs so I can continue to grow the site and make it as broadly useful to the breast cancer community as possible. I'd also be very keen to hear where the site doesn't quite cover your particular needs if you too find clothes shopping a struggle. Julie
Sports Bra for runner
I am currently 10 days post bilateral mastectomy with immediate skin and nipple sparing implant reconstruction. I am also a keen runner who usually runs 70-80km a week. I now have a lovely set of 12D breasts and I am wanting to get a few super supportive sports bras ready for when I can return to training in 5wks. I also have a marathon booked 11.5wks post surgery. Thanks in advance for the help!