Fed up!

Hi Josie,

Sounds like that soup has everything except the kitchen sink in it. You did really well to make it in your low energy state.Your taste buds will be up the creek now so won't matter what your soup tastes like.Hubby can just grin and bare it-or should I say eat it.You won't have to cook for a awhile now so you can take to your bed and hibernate the bad chemo days away.I lived off vegie soup when I couldn't eat much and I dropped 2kilos that first week of chemo.Shame I've put it back on and more some.It was my daughter's birthday today(27)and we went out for lunch at a nice gourmet pizza restaurant.That was followed by a visit to my mum and chocolate birthday cake.I think I've surpassed your innocent snowballs today and feel very naughty indeed.Now I'm thinking that we should have a chapter in that book called "bad habits of the bald and the beautiful". Well I hope you are resting up but keeping those blogging fingers active-  sending you a hug and positive thoughts your way.

                                                   Tonya xx

Arh! Yes ladies, the wicked snowballs - how yummy, even with chemo mouth - I think I can actually 'believe' that I can still taste them - I think it is the whole 'naughtiness' of them that I love the most!  This is my second day after my second chemo and this time around I really feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails - aching and tired and bleerrrrrrr!  I feel like my batteries are totally flat and it is all I can do to muster up the energy to write this blog.  This morning I tried to make the bed on my own (ha ha, who was I fooling!) and my husband came in to give me a hand, bless him.  Last night I cut up some veges to make an enormous pot of soup and finished doing that today but boy! it took some effort! I didn't know cutting up vegies could sap your strength so much (well it sure felt like it) but I got that done, pity I can't taste it! Probably will taste like my husband described as I was preparing it - 'vegetables with a bit of chicken in it' - (there is a whole half a chook in it mind you!) good on you hubby, always one to enhance my cooking ego, not!  You should see the size of the pot of soup - enough to feed an army no less!  If it tastes like crap, I have got enough to last me about six months, should see me through winter I am thinking!  It will be interesting to see what the flavour is like, I threw in four packets of chicken noodle soup for good measure (yes I can see a few people cracking up here!) Oh well, when the taste buds kick back in I will let you ladies know what it tastes like - I am thinking this could be really funny!

Hi Josie been reading about you liking the snowballs and has got me thinking about them,,, yum, we get them here in SA so off to the shop i go tomorrow, had my second round of chemo yesterday and must say i am much better this time round than i was the first, actually felt like eating tonight and yes i gave in to the chocolate and had 2 squares myself, even though yesterday the doctor (not my normal lovely oncologist) kept telling i should be trying to lose weight, i felt like telling him to shove it i have enough to worry about at the present moment everything else i will deal with later.

Anyway enough of my carry on, hope all is going to plan (as much as it can do) for you. I can totally understand about your mother in law mine turns up unexpected half the time and then wants to stay for tea, watch Home and Away (which i never do) and then go on her return trip to Port Pirie, have totally stopped worrying about her driving all that way in the dark now. Her high light from her last visit was showing me her scare where she had to have some lumps removed from her breast, not cancer for her though, must say it was a bit of a shock when she showed me that lol.

Anyway hope the chemo brain returns to normal for you soon and you get to have a snowball soon. Take care and big hugs.

Sandy X

Josie,you keep going on about these snowballs that I will have to go buy some tomorrow.Just ate some chocolate now for the time being.I think you are drawing me to the dark side! When I had chemo,chocolate,tea and coffee were the first foods to go-couldn't taste them.So it's amazing you still have an appetite for those snowballs.And as for having bubbly tomorrow night-girl you must have a cast iron belly!Well don't let a little thing like chemo ruin your appetite!You go for it.

                                                       Tonya xx

Josie,you keep going on about these snowballs that I will have to go buy some tomorrow.Just ate some chocolate now for the time being.I think you are drawing me to the dark side! When I had chemo,chocolate,tea and coffee were the first foods to go-couldn't taste them.So it's amazing you still have an appetite for those snowballs.And as for having bubbly tomorrow night-girl you must have a cast iron belly!Well don't let a little thing like chemo ruin your appetite!You go for it.

                                                       Tonya xx

Hi  Tonya - I guess my 'subject line' answered that pretty well - I really have to fight to be well behaved (laughing out loud here!).  Yesterday was ok - I got the happy pills and goodness knows anything about the rest of the day - bit like being drunk for sure, because I had changed an appointment, written notes and completely forgotten that I had done any of it today........I came to a conclusion about 'chemo brain' - now here's a thought.  I don't think 'chemo brain' is caused by chemo as such, I believe it is caused by the fact your head is FULL, and you have a hard time concentrating with so much on your plate and the other thing is you are unwell - so add chemo to the mix and yup! Chemo brain.  I feel like I am in a fog - maybe that is why I behaved myself, so busy up there in my own little world and miles away.  My mother-in-law chattered constantly, so that was the biggest bug as I wanted to scream and say 'shut up!' but I couldn't do that because it wouldn't have been fair and she never gets to see her son much (lot more than I see my kids I can tell you) but never the less, I take it all into account and tell my self 'shuttup sherlock' and behave - I am thinking tomorrow night, I would fancy some bubbely - mmmmmm! Today I snuck into the fridge and had some malteezers with my green tea (now there's a combination!) but my favourite 'spoil me food' is Snowballs - apparently you can't get them in Queensland -but you can here in Victoria - they are kind of like a lamington - only instead of cake in the filling......its marshmellow, I nibble off the coconutty chocolate and then let the marshmellow melt in my mouth..............heaven! and I aint misbehavin'!  Well I am but I don't care!  As I look at anyone who dares to judge I say 'bite me!'    Yes I am a little naughty aren't I?  Care to join me any one? Love and hugs to all x x x Josie

Josie well behaved- doesn't sound like you-what's going on?I'm glad you got through your mother in law's visit unscathed. Yes,those little pills are good- make you feel drunk and a couldn't care less attitude. When I first walked into the chemo unit and saw everyone sitting in their chairs very quiet and sedate,I wanted to run. I said to my husband "I think they have all had lobotomys,feel like I'm in a scene from one flew over the cuckoo's nest".But I soon realized that they'd probably all had their chill pills well beforehand.I didn't get mine until after a few attempts at cannulation and me crawling up the wall and making a big scene.I'm sure they all looked and thought oh there's another new one protesting-give her a few hours on the iv and she'll be docile like the rest of us.

Glad you got through yesterday's chemo ok.Take the chill pills but don't lose that wonderful fighting spirit that you have-or that wicked sense of humour!

                                luv Tonya xx

Josie well behaved- doesn't sound like you-what's going on?I'm glad you got through your mother in law's visit unscathed. Yes,those little pills are good- make you feel drunk and a couldn't care less attitude. When I first walked into the chemo unit and saw everyone sitting in their chairs very quiet and sedate,I wanted to run. I said to my husband "I think they have all had lobotomys,feel like I'm in a scene from one flew over the cuckoo's nest".But I soon realized that they'd probably all had their chill pills well beforehand.I didn't get mine until after a few attempts at cannulation and me crawling up the wall and making a big scene.I'm sure they all looked and thought oh there's another new one protesting-give her a few hours on the iv and she'll be docile like the rest of us.

Glad you got through yesterday's chemo ok.Take the chill pills but don't lose that wonderful fighting spirit that you have-or that wicked sense of humour!

                                luv Tonya xx

Dearest Friends, and what wonderful friends you are - each time I read a blog or your comments, I can't be helped feeling how amazing you all are - we really are a in a very 'special' group.  Yes it is true, with most operations etc, you recover and move on, but this thing keeps dragging on and on and on!  I had to race over to Ballarat for another Echocardiogram - to see if I could have the Herceptin for my chemo yesterday.  Well my oncologist was here in town so he didn't get the results in time so he has postponed the Herceptin for a couple of weeks.  In the meantime the Cardiologist rang and said it was fine for the Herceptin to go ahead.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry; on one hand the Herceptin will reduce the cancer returning, on the other hand, I get to be restricted in travel as I have to have it every three weeks (intraveinously) and have to have it at my hospital and no where else.  As I don't like flying (big wossie on planes have panic attacks as I am claustrophobic and hate heights), and only travel to Queensland by bus or car - I wont be making any mad dashes up the Newell Highway to see my children and grandchildren this side of a year - the only thing I can do is try and save and send them a return flight to come and see me some time.  My Mother-in-Law came to stay for a few days, Michael has just driven her to the station - (she live in Newcastle NSW) and I must give her her due, she behaved herself pretty well, usually she has the effect of running fingernails down a blackboard on me and I have to 'button up' for not wanting to upset my husband as he is very close to her.  So I behaved myself as well, as it is the only way to go if you want peace!  Meanwhile I had my second Chemo yesterday and am not bouncing off the walls this time around, rather flat to say the least but it is all part of the process (process, what a bloody inane word!) any way ladies they told me to see my GP about getting some 'happy pill's, they reckon I need it, and as I sat there all hooked up with my mate 'the drip', after having been given something to relax me - I grinned serenely and said "Oh, yes please, this is sooooo nice!".  They thought that was funny - and yes, so do I!  I want to go and watch some funny movies now, must get those endorfins to kick in! Lots of love and returned beautiful hugs to you all!

Hi Josie just stopping by to wish you all the best for today, will be thinking of you. Sandy X