Fed up!

Dearest Friends, and what wonderful friends you are - each time I read a blog or your comments, I can't be helped feeling how amazing you all are - we really are a in a very 'special' group.  Yes it is true, with most operations etc, you recover and move on, but this thing keeps dragging on and on and on!  I had to race over to Ballarat for another Echocardiogram - to see if I could have the Herceptin for my chemo yesterday.  Well my oncologist was here in town so he didn't get the results in time so he has postponed the Herceptin for a couple of weeks.  In the meantime the Cardiologist rang and said it was fine for the Herceptin to go ahead.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry; on one hand the Herceptin will reduce the cancer returning, on the other hand, I get to be restricted in travel as I have to have it every three weeks (intraveinously) and have to have it at my hospital and no where else.  As I don't like flying (big wossie on planes have panic attacks as I am claustrophobic and hate heights), and only travel to Queensland by bus or car - I wont be making any mad dashes up the Newell Highway to see my children and grandchildren this side of a year - the only thing I can do is try and save and send them a return flight to come and see me some time.  My Mother-in-Law came to stay for a few days, Michael has just driven her to the station - (she live in Newcastle NSW) and I must give her her due, she behaved herself pretty well, usually she has the effect of running fingernails down a blackboard on me and I have to 'button up' for not wanting to upset my husband as he is very close to her.  So I behaved myself as well, as it is the only way to go if you want peace!  Meanwhile I had my second Chemo yesterday and am not bouncing off the walls this time around, rather flat to say the least but it is all part of the process (process, what a bloody inane word!) any way ladies they told me to see my GP about getting some 'happy pill's, they reckon I need it, and as I sat there all hooked up with my mate 'the drip', after having been given something to relax me - I grinned serenely and said "Oh, yes please, this is sooooo nice!".  They thought that was funny - and yes, so do I!  I want to go and watch some funny movies now, must get those endorfins to kick in! Lots of love and returned beautiful hugs to you all!