Any advice for a newbie?

Hi Tracey,

Welcome to the network. 

I can understand your worries and you've come to the right place for support. 

It's good you are having counseling and have developed skills you've learned from your experiences with depression and anxiety in the past. My sister sent me a link of mindfulness meditation which I try to do every day.  Only 15 mins, but it's time to sit and breathe, which is not as easy as it seems at times. (maybe that's me??) 

I had a lumpectomy in late April, but unfortunately the tumour was larger and more irregular than was expected (mucinous) with DCIS in tissue margins.  I had a further excision which was still unsuccessful so I had to have a mastectomy 2 weeks ago (as my boob was really quite small to start with).  For me that was the best decision as pathology showed a second mucinous smaller tumour hiding as well.  Reconstruction will be later after I've finished other treatments, chemo and radio. (I'm recovering now and waiting for oncologist appointments). Despite having experienced surprising pathology results every time I venture in to see my surgeon, I was always encouraged by her approach.  She regularly consulted with other surgeons, pathologists and we spoke to other surgeons as well about the best approach.  I effectively like to think myself as being cancer clear in that region. 

Chemo is to 'mop up'.  I had micromets in 2 of 5 lymph nodes.  I'm scared of chemo and how it's going to affect my body.  I've always been fit and healthy, running and zumba.  My tumours were hormone receptor positive so I need to be pushed into early menopause.  At 48, that's not too bad for me, earlier that what I would've expected naturally, but I've been blessed with two lovely kids and I know there's many people worse off than me.  

I've started walking every day.  It's the same route as my weekend runs, but I walk steady with music.  I've also started the pilates dvd which came with the 'my care kit' organised by the nurse in hospital when I had the mastectomy. 

I have close friends who are very supportive and say the right things. I'm learning to avoid the family members and 'friends' who say the wrong things.  

During all those surgeries, I was in a dark tunnel.  My friend equated it to a detour, which seemed to just take me in circles, on my journey.  Now I feel there is a path, it's chemo, but at least I know where I'm going and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It just took me a while, and a little longer than I expected. 

Be kind to yourself, surround yourself with positive people. Jump online too.

Take care,

Karen xx