Forum Discussion
What NOT to say to people affected with breast cancer
In 2013, a journalist called breast cancer the "sexy" cancer. What they meant is that breast cancer is a cause that people get behind in a big way compared to other cancers and diseases. Nevertheless, this is an extremely insensitive way to refer to breast cancer. As our members said, there's nothing sexy about cancer. The flippant statement also ignores the history of breast cancer treatment and the hard work that women have done to reduce the historical stigma and improve care.
In the thread linked above, @onemargie said, "We should all write down our what not to say to cancer patients..." and I thought that was a great idea! Last December, we created 31 acts of kindness for supporting someone with breast cancer, which was widely downloaded and circulated. Here's another chance to create another great resource featuring the real life experiences of people affected by breast cancer.
Share your stories below!
What should people NOT say to someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer or is living with metastatic breast cancer?
In the thread linked above, @onemargie said, "We should all write down our what not to say to cancer patients..." and I thought that was a great idea! Last December, we created 31 acts of kindness for supporting someone with breast cancer, which was widely downloaded and circulated. Here's another chance to create another great resource featuring the real life experiences of people affected by breast cancer.
Share your stories below!
What should people NOT say to someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer or is living with metastatic breast cancer?
61 Replies
My oncologist (who I have grown to like very much) told me at our first consultation that a separate toilet would be good. Like we all have one!! The only time I actually had a toilet issue was when a (later to be discovered faulty) attachment on my drip came loose while I was visiting the toilet in day oncology, and taxol started dripping on the floor. Highly entertaining for the rest of the patients as nurses swarmed with gum boots, heavy duty gloves, masks et al !
But for the "what the...." award, the "gender thing" wins hands down. I don't even want to start to unravel the thinking there.
- @Cosette_BCNA That's what I thought!! :) :)
- Worst is when it's the people close to you giving comments. Here are some of the comments I received during my treatment:
a. Comparing going to the hospital for cancer treatment vs checkups after giving birth.
b. 'You need to change your lifestyle'! I consider myself healthy in general before getting bc. I don't smoke, rarely drink alcohol, I cook my food most of the time etc.
c. "Oh you only have 1 toilet" chemo meds are very toxic. It's like telling me it's a requirement to have more than one toilet at home before getting cancer to be safe for other people living with me. - @AineG
- Not sure if this fits under here, but I had a "friend" say to me " so have you thought about the gender thing?"
SERIOUSLY, opting not to reconstruct is not an end run around gender re-assignment. At 44 I did not wake up and think - now that I have (had) breast cancer I think I might change sex!!! What THe.... ???? - OMG you know I love alternative things, but why oh why oh why do people think the shit they cure cancer I will never know!!! They are great at treating symptoms and side effects, thats the point OMG! GRRRRR!!! LOL
- I was told "Oh but I've had it twice you know!" WTF - this is not a competition no intention of coming back for a second round and you win!
Aren't they amazing can't accept the conversation is about you, it has to be turned to about them, with one upmanship! - A hairdresser told me my curls were gorgeous. When i explained how i got them she thought it was totally worth it. Yeah no!!
- I was told stress causes breast cancer you know and you should take turmeric that's the miracle drug! I must of talked to the same person as you @InkPetal !! WTF!!
