Oh, it’s truly a hideous ride. No- one else in your life - and they try their best - but no-one can truly understand that 24/7 your thoughts are ‘cancer’ and you can’t get away from it. It’s in your body and you can’t claw it out. Here, in this forum, we understand. The tears, the overwhelming fear, the struggle to keep being positive for the sake of those who love us, the 3am total sureness that we have secondaries growing somewhere, etc etc.
As the others have said, once the surgery is done it settles a little, then treatment helps, and gradually life begins to normalise somewhat. I am still in active treatment and while I still have my bad days and nights, and many fears, I am much much more settled than I was in the early days.
Hang in there, it will get better I promise xx