Forum Discussion
Self conscious about wig
Hi, went to the cancer council wig library 2 days ago with my bestie and my partner. Found a nice wig that I and my 2 support people really liked. Was so excited, so much so that my partner said that was the happiest he'd seen me in ages. Decided to go out for lunch yesterday and wear it in public for first time. When I put it on, a thought jumped into my head. I started thinking 'everyone will know'. I just kept fiddling with it which wasn't helping at all. When we arrived at lunch I was sure everybody was looking at me, my partner assured me they weren't. Still kept fiddling, my partner said 'stop doing that or you will draw attention'. I was completely out of my comfort zone, more so than when i wear my scarf of turban. I just felt this compulsion to keep checking it. I was quite down when we arrived home and wondered how something that I think looked good one day didn't the next? I don't plan on wearing it too much at the moment because of the heat, but I'm thinking I may have to wear it when I return to work down the track, I just don't see how I will get the confidence to do that. Do you get used to it eventually? Then I started thinking that when my hair starts to grow back, is their an awkward time, an in between time, when you don't know whether to wear one or go au natural? Oops, forgot my 'one day at a time' mantra. Too far ahead of myself, the issue is not a priority. Just want some cofidence when I venture out of the house, hope everyone is faring well out there,
Hazel xx
31 Replies
Yes Paula, once I switched from AC to Taxol it started to grow back. But Taxol made my brows & lashes fall out! I'm 6 weeks free of chemo now & they are just starting to come back. I'm a bit bummed that the pubic hair is back. My arm pit hair hasn't come back yet though & I'm finding I don't need deoderant......strange!
The kids have been great (14 & 6) Jade gets a kick out of calling it chemo....ch as in chicken. Makes me sick that I may have passed the BRCA1 gene mutation on to them. My 14yo cried & thought he was going to get cancer :( We'll explain it to Jade when she's older.
Sam xoxoxox
- Great story Sam. Aren't kids great. They take lots in their stride. I think my kids were proud of me and my bandana clad head. One of my son's friend came up to me all bold as brass, obviously the nominated spokesman. He said quite loudly so all could hear "I heard you have no hair under that bandana, is that right?" I replied it sure is. He asked "why". I told him I got sick and needed some really strong medicine to make me better. I said it was killing all the bad stuff really well if my hair fell out. He just smiled and said "ok". He accepted it and moved on. None of the other kids ever seemed to have a problem after that. Kids are resilient and also know more than we sometimes give them credit for. I found my kids coped great as long as I told them the truth( in a kid friendly way of course). Has your hair started growing back Sam? Paula :)
Reading your story makes me sad and angry. I can't believe there are such insensitive people in the world. We are so vulnerable with our emotions that these incidents do hurt. Sending you a big hug and I hope your confidence builds up again. Let's focus on the important people in our lives, take care,
Hazel xx
My daughter Jade had a presentation at school that I was well enough to attend. I hadn't been a school for about 4 months at this stage & only her class parents knew what I was going thorugh.
Jade is a Princess....her hair is to her bum & she is VERY specific in how it has to be brushed and tied back. She cried for days & didn't want to go to school when she had 5cm trimmed of it, which I struggled no to chemo rage at her with as I was BALD! Anyway......
I get dress & wigged up ready for the mornings event....Jade looked at me and said "What have you got that on for?" She was happy for me to go to school with nothing covering my head. I was so shocked, but very touched at the same time.
I think my confidence came form watching a 60mins stroy on Turia Pitt. The runner that was burnt while running a marathon in the outback. If she can walk around without her burn covers on proudly, then surely I can walk around without hair....my grandfather has been doing it for as long as I can remember!
How did the school visit go? Great! kids looked, parents looked, Jade received a silver award ;)
Sam xoxoxox
You poor love. People can be so cruel. Especially young girls who don't know what they may be in for later in life. Have a look at this blog from Mich, she is so up and positive that she never fails to make me smile. http://www.bcna.org.au/user/8430/blog/70425?page=1 Scroll down to her reply today at 10.17pm (her 'be so happy' pic). I'm sure it will make you smile too.
Paula and I are both sending huge cyber hugs right now.
Love Janey xxx
- That is the most terrible story. What absolutely awful people. I hope you can regain your confidence. It never ceases to amaze me how insensitive people can be. Sending you a huge cyber hug. Paula x
- My kids were 10 and 8 when I had my first diagnosis. I wore bandanas into school. They surprised me how resilient they were and I think they coped really well. However if your son is sensitive then I see your point. Kids, being kids their friends will probably know anyway and I found my kids got amazing support from the school and their peers. Your reasons at work were exactly the same as mine. Not all my clients knew and it saved lots of explaining and let me just get on with my job. I felt I would never get any work done otherwise. I met a lady at the look good feel better course who told me that she was exhausted at the end of her work day as she spent so much if it explaining to others about her scarf and ultimately her cancer. Wishing you lots of luck. Paula x
My main reason for getting a wig was for the kids sake when I have to drop them off and pickup from Primary School (I have 3 aged 11,8 & 5) ), I didnt want them to be embarrased at all or have the kids asking them questions as I know they would get sick of it eventually and more than likely upset them as well(oldest boy grade 6 this year is very shy and reserved!!).
Secondly, I work at a supermarket where I know alot of customers and they dont know that I have BC. I am on leave at the moment til I am ready to come back but I really dont want to explain to everyone I serve why I have a scarf of my head and the reasons behind it as more than likely my hair wont have grown back by the time I return. At home i will be happy to wear scarves and hats or when I am by myself - go bald!!
- I have just been getting around the past 3 weeks with my scarves and buzz cut hair partly because of the heat wave and partly because with everyone on holidays I've just been poking around at friends and going to yoga etc . Never Today is 2 months since my surgery so my husband and I went to see a movie . I thought I would wear my real wig for the first time and I thought I looked pretty ok. While my husband went to do something else for 10 minutes I went into a chain store jewellery shop and was buying some earrings when the young shop girl serving me and her offsider were doing a really bad job of trying to hide their sniggers and exchanging sideways glances with raised eyebrows , it was soooo dreadful . I'm not sure if they were laughing at my wig or the fact I have no boobs or maybe both ( I can't wear that fake bra they send you yet because one side is too sore ) There were other people in the shop else I would have said something. Anyway I cried all the way home. My eldest son said the heat wave this week will be nothing compared to the heat where those girls are going . The awful thing was that I actually felt quite confident and happy and now I just feel crushed :(
Have you thought about going to a wig library & borrowing a couple? That might give you a feel for it before you buy one.
I was able to claim mine back through Bupa too. I just needed a letter from my oncologist.
Sam xoxox
