These questions are all part of accepting the reality of circumstances that would, in our 'normal' lives be purely hypothetical.
Is there another way? Can I run away from it? Is it all a mistake?
Australia has one of the highest breast cancer survival rates in the world. Which does not mean that everyone lives long and happy lives. Those who choose early intervention are statistically better off than those who refuse treatment then try to jump on the bus if their disease escalates.
Decisions about treatment are deeply personal--we all have our own deal breakers that are a line we won't cross.
I really wanted to run away when my cancer came back. I looked at my bank balance and thought 'I could blow the lot travelling then not die wondering what I'd missed out on.' A very powerful internal argument.
This stuff is hard work. Mxx