Forum Discussion
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?"
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
141 Replies
- @"Janet A", I follow a lot of Wordpress blogs, so hopefully wouldn't be too hard to set up. Would certainly follow, if you started writing. Would be more than happy to be a "test reader"
- Good to know @Sister
- @"Janet A" My blog is through WordPress. I've got mine private which just means that it doesn't necessarily come up in searches. If someone comments, I can accept them or not. But I think you can opt to have it public.
- Thank you Ann and @kmakm I will put my thinking cap on and get back to you. Rest up Ann its a good thing x
- Very happy to be PMd at any time @JanetA and @annsan, and to help in any way possible! :)
- Thank you @"Janet A" for riding in on the white horse when I was the damsel in distress, literally pulling her hair out! You can bounce ideas off me anytime you like. I hope I can be of some help. I too, want to help people and feel encouraged to do so. Having the bones means you are more than halfway there. Perhaps between the three of us @"Janet A" and @kmakm we can make a difference? I will be back on line later and will (attempt) to PM you then, if you don't mind? Regards, Ann
- Well I've ust had my B12 shot so I am only marginally better!
Click on my name and on the right side is a menu, click on inbox, that is what they have called private messenging x - Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, hugs to the two of you sincerely. I might print this out and stick it next to my computer! It's one to travel along childless in this world and two, to be a bc survivor to boot. Perhaps I can privately bounce ideas of you Ann and @kmakm ?
I even produced some little illustrations of women in beautiful dresses some with hair and some without in watercolour. Wanting to do something with them. Here is borne an idea, I have the bones of a blog and named it snapshot on life as it encompasses lots of different people with the name, I am going to see if I can section it off for different subjects or have one that is separate. I want to help others for sure. - @Janet A ok now I feel completely stupid, I could blame chemo brain but maybe that's a cop out this time? I was going to PM you if that is ok, but I can't work out how to do it.......how embarrassment!! The more I scratch my head with frustration, the more hair I am losing and my keyboard is covered in it. :D Help please!
- @"Janet A" I am pleased that you felt the same about Jody as I did. I was rather disappointed. I really like your idea of a blog and I think you would be very good at it....seriously! It's obvious in your writings on here that you are a very intelligent, articulate woman with something to say. I too know about the smashed self confidence, so I hear you. I can't believe that cut backs have left you (and others) feeling alone, this is not good enough. I will see what I can find out about childlessness and bc and let you know. As you say, if you can get some support you can offer it to others and I think that goes for most of us. After all, we are the ones with the "hands on" experience. Please don't give up on the blog idea, I am right behind you or I can be beside you if you prefer. Perhaps one day you will be addressing a conference with your knowledge and wisdom to help others in our situation? Stick with this @Janet A it's the right thing to do. Regards Ann
