DCIS
Hi everyone, I am new to this forum - and any forum really - I have a horror of any sort of social media. But I am struggling so badly emotionally right now. I have been diagnosed with exte...
Forum Discussion
@bgadke77
I am so so sorry you are in this position. My heart breaks for you.
It's such a lonely place to be, isn't it?
I'm so grateful that my post has helped you feel a little bit less alone, and I was so touched to see your message this morning
I was very apprehensive to post at first as I really thought I might be the only one feeling like this.
I am so glad I did now -there does seem to be a small pool of us feeling the same way.
I know nearly all women experience loss and grief and many complex emotions with this surgery and the physical losses. There seems to be a wide spectrum of the intensity of that grief.
So many women express the desire to "get them off" and run from the danger they represent - and then they must also deal with their loss and grief.
It's such a logical and sensible response. I totally get it. I wish I felt that way too - but I don't.
My breast surgeon has said that he treats some women who will absolutely refuse the surgery regardless of the medical implications. He respects their decision and treats them as best he can whilst undertaking their wishes.
I feel like I am right at that end of the spectrum - and this is necessarily a smaller pool of women from the breast cancer cohort (hence feeling very alone)
I think my surgeon was very surprised at my reaction given the family history with the loss of my mum at such a young age and my baby sister's very young diagnosis too. I'm surprised too, to be honest.
I think he thought I would immediately choose mastectomy. He told me from the outset that was the likely outcome given the extent of the DCIS shown on the scans.
He has already undertaken two smaller surgeries first to see if I could get away with a lumpectomy. That is why I am forcing myself to accept his recommendation - he has really tried to help me.
He's also very senior at Peter Mac (I won't say his position as not sure if we are supposed to identify doctors) and I know he would not be recommending unless he really thought I needed it.
I have been seeing him for years (since 2009) for monitoring due to my family history. At least I feel like I have a relationship with him already and I trust him and his depth of experience.
I am FORCING myself to accept the medical recommendation - but every cell in my body and mind rejects it.
It's like I'm constantly at war with myself and it's so mentally and emotionally exhausting. I can't sleep and can barely eat. I've lost a fair bit of weight (silver lining I guess). I don't want to see any of my family or friends. I just have nothing to give.
Please reach out if you need to chat at any time.
Sending you much love this morning.
I am so so sorry you are in this position. My heart breaks for you.
It's such a lonely place to be, isn't it?
I'm so grateful that my post has helped you feel a little bit less alone, and I was so touched to see your message this morning
I was very apprehensive to post at first as I really thought I might be the only one feeling like this.
I am so glad I did now -there does seem to be a small pool of us feeling the same way.
I know nearly all women experience loss and grief and many complex emotions with this surgery and the physical losses. There seems to be a wide spectrum of the intensity of that grief.
So many women express the desire to "get them off" and run from the danger they represent - and then they must also deal with their loss and grief.
It's such a logical and sensible response. I totally get it. I wish I felt that way too - but I don't.
My breast surgeon has said that he treats some women who will absolutely refuse the surgery regardless of the medical implications. He respects their decision and treats them as best he can whilst undertaking their wishes.
I feel like I am right at that end of the spectrum - and this is necessarily a smaller pool of women from the breast cancer cohort (hence feeling very alone)
I think my surgeon was very surprised at my reaction given the family history with the loss of my mum at such a young age and my baby sister's very young diagnosis too. I'm surprised too, to be honest.
I think he thought I would immediately choose mastectomy. He told me from the outset that was the likely outcome given the extent of the DCIS shown on the scans.
He has already undertaken two smaller surgeries first to see if I could get away with a lumpectomy. That is why I am forcing myself to accept his recommendation - he has really tried to help me.
He's also very senior at Peter Mac (I won't say his position as not sure if we are supposed to identify doctors) and I know he would not be recommending unless he really thought I needed it.
I have been seeing him for years (since 2009) for monitoring due to my family history. At least I feel like I have a relationship with him already and I trust him and his depth of experience.
I am FORCING myself to accept the medical recommendation - but every cell in my body and mind rejects it.
It's like I'm constantly at war with myself and it's so mentally and emotionally exhausting. I can't sleep and can barely eat. I've lost a fair bit of weight (silver lining I guess). I don't want to see any of my family or friends. I just have nothing to give.
Please reach out if you need to chat at any time.
Sending you much love this morning.