Not a good day today. I had a lumpectomy on Monday and went back to see the surgeon today only to find out that one of the margins was not great enough so am now scheduled for another surgery on the 5th January. Was so hoping that at least this part of the treatment was over as I have already had 6 months of chemo. Still have to have radiation as well but thought the worst of the treatment would be done. I just want my life back - I am so sick of the constant doctors appointments and it always feels like one step forward 10 steps back again. So not a very Merry Christmas for me. Sorry I know I am feeling sorry for myself but sometimes it just gets too much.

Yep, sometimes it does feel like too much. Most of us have felt that way at some time or another, especially when something extra comes along. You are very much allowed to feel sorry for yourself and sometimes letting that emotion out on here really helps. Hope your next surgery gives a better result and also that you don't have to wait too long for it. Sending hugs. Deanne xxx

Hi Suzy - moan away that is what we are here for to read your venting and help you through! Yes it is a so and so but hey they are being diligent and making sure every skerrick is gone, or at least that is what the plan is and the finish off treatment ensures that is the case! I do hope that you do have a good Christmas knowing that you are on your way to those words we all long to hear, you are all clear!Take care! Sending you a virtual hug xx

SuzyG, unfortunately I know how you feel, i've finished almost 6 months of chemo & didn't get clear margins, i have just had my second lumpectomy and now waiting to find out if that operation was successful. Still have radiation and up to 10 years of hormonal treatment. Yes it's totally overwhelming. I've found exercise to be the only thing that helps me cope, i've had two lumpectomies in the space of one week but somehow still she managed to go for a walk.All the best & sorry that your going through this.

Hi @SuzyG - no need to ever apologise for feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone who has been through this knows it is a case of "baby steps" and willing ourselves to get over the next hurdle. It is about ticking off the treatment/surgery items on your bc cancer list. I totally get where you are coming from - I had a lumpectomy in 2003 and when I went back to see my surgeon there weren't clear margins so I had to have a partial mastectomy with auxilliary node clearance. It can be so overwhelming when you feel like this is never going to end and that 2017 was really going to be the beginning of a new year - emotionally and from a cancer perspective.Take time to process all of it - cry, scream, yell, vent all you need. As difficult as it is, be Scarlett O'Hara and think about your surgery on the 4th January. For now, focus on the festive season with your family and friends. Merry Christmas and best wishes to you xxx

Hi Suzy, I feel your frustration at going back for more surgery. My closest margin was 3mm, because nodes were clear surgeon didn't go back in. Now each new lump leaves me thinking, I wonder if that was too close. Believe me, the worst of your treatment IS over. If you've done 6 months of chemo, the hard yards are done, it all gets easier after that. Well done for persevering this far. Maybe over the Christmas break, you could just take some time out? No doctors visits, no appointments, no treatment. . . . maybe plan some looking after you time? You deserve it <3

Wondering if this will ever be over

70 Replies

Afraser
Member
9 years ago
Tingling in the fingers is often a side effect of Taxol. Worth monitoring as the numbness can get worse and also last (and can also affect the feet). Your oncology nurse may be able to assist. I found taking Vitamin B beneficial. It usually improves when you stop Taxol but can take a while to get back to normal. If the numbness stops simple things like buttoning or picking up things, it's a pain!
SuzyG
Member
9 years ago
Hi All just wondering how everyone is doing? I started radiation this week and so far so good although I am getting tingling and numbness is my fingers - has anyone else had this. I am only up to number 4 dose today. Already had chemo AC & Taxol and a lumpectomy and re-excision and decided not to have the mastectomy that was recommended and just went on to radiation. I have to say having made that decision I am feeling so much better. I am exercising walking and swimming and feel great after being so down and thinking that it would never end. Anyway just wanted to check in and see how everyone else is and also ask about the tingling/numbness in fingers.
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
@SuzyG Oh my goodness!!! No No No, you didnt upset me at all!! I can just so resonate with you and what youre going through, its hard not to be touched honestly! So glad you had a great sleep!! Yes you are right!! you are closer to the end of that tunnel! Am laughing yes maybe I need a wine! LOL Sending you the biggest hug!!! Melinda xo
SuzyG
Member
9 years ago
Will do. Thankyou all for your messages they are very much appreciated. Yes had a good nights sleep last night - now on to the next thing - radiation. At least I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Melclarity hope you are OK and my intention was not to upset you or anyone else. Just hope you are OK - forget the green tea have a wine!!!
Share
Member
9 years ago
@SuzyG - hopefully you slept quite peacefully last night and have woken up well rested after having what you describe as a huge weight off your shoulders.
Drop by every now & then and let us know how you are doing.
Sheryl xx
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Suzy, Glad you have had your discussion with your surgeon and decided on a treatment plan that you are happy with. The fact that you feel as though a weight has been lifted certainly points to you having made the correct decision for you. Wishing you all the best for your treatment. Xx Cath
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Oh Wow!!! They are gorgeous!!!!!
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Suzy hope you are feeling better after your big day. Wishing you well with your treatment.
Take care
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Enjoy the green tea!
Yes there is no judgment it is about helping each other through. Peony roses from my garden

Take care
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Awww @iserbrown thank you!!! Im laughing now, I had just boiled the kettle!!! how did you know!!! Its all so close to us all isn't it?? hard to not feel sometimes for everyone here and then in turn yourself. Big breath!! Oh gosh, night before surgery I'll be on here venting hahaha!!! OMG will I...its the one place can really just be who we are with no judgement. Beautiful people! Hugs back thank you, I needed that!! Now onto that Green Tea! x

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Wondering if this will ever be over

70 Replies

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