Wondering if this will ever be over

Yes it is a massive decision.  I feel for you after 4 years being clear.  I honestly feel so much better about it now having made the decision.  As I said to the oncologist I struggled with the hair loss with chemo and still do every time I look in a mirror and having people stare at me because I have a headscarf on but at least I knew the hair would eventually come back but I am not going to grow another breast and the surgeon told me that a reconstruction later is a big operation.  So after two lumpectomies they wanted to do surgery number 3 with number 4 in 12 months time.  I just couldn't live with it and lets face it I could get run over by a bus tomorrow.