Hi Suzy G, thank you for expressing this, I can really identify with what you said. I have also been feeling a bit sorry for myself. My family are all going on our annual holiday on Monday but we can't go because of my bc. I also have had 3x fec and start 3x dosetaxol on Monday and for some reason I'm really scared. I have a large tumour in my left breast so need mastectomy but want double mastectomy but the oncologist said even having a double mastectomy won't reduce the chance of it coming back. I am absolutely terrified of it coming back! I have been really teary lately, maybe it's all hitting me? I am also having the hormone therapy (letrozole and zoladex) as part of a trial so maybe that's making me emotional? Anyway, I hope your surgery went well and it's onward and upward from here. Sending you a virtual hug, Kate x