Forum Discussion
What now?
Well I have now completed all my treatments: six cycles of chemo and 25 rounds of radiotherapy. When I finished chemo I was so excited and happy and thought I would feel the same when I finished radiotherapy 5 days ago. I am not so happy.
I saw my oncologist yesterday and they don't need to see me for another three months. I feel like I was abruptly thrown into this situation and now just as abruptly spat out the other side. Treatments all over and now I am supposed to get back on with life.
The rational side of me says life will get back bit by bit to a new normal but when I start to think of making plans or dreaming of what I would like to do in the future, I have noticed that I stop myself and go back to the fear that the cancer will return. It is as though I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Is this how everyone feels following treatment? I don't want to rush off to a psychologist just yet if this is normal and that my confidence is likely to improve once I get my physical strength back and have healed up following radiotherapy.
I guess during treatment we are so busy managing side effects and seeing our team on a regular basis that to now not have any appointments for 3 months one feels a little insecure.
12 Replies
Congratulations to you too Hazel on completing your treatment. You are right. It is the too high expectations that I was putting on myself. The first four weeks of radiotherapy I found much easier fatigue wise than chemo but now since finishing, I like you feel like an old woman and wonder if this is the "new normal" . I am sure it isn't but we just want to get back to how we were before and enjoy our lives once more.
We will never be quite the same but I am sure we will be a lot better than we are at the moment in a few more months time. I still have to go through further surgery with bilateral mastectomy, so I will once again be lying low but hope to have some kind of reprieve before this is done in October.
So good to hear rom you Hazel and hope all is going well for both you and your husband.
Big hugs
Joy xx.