Forum Discussion

Nadi's avatar
Nadi
Member
9 years ago

Tiredness. How hard should we push ourselves? What does "listen to your body" really mean?

I know I have a few things going on in my life. I am a mother of three who still live at home, I look after elderly infirm parents and my Dad has been in hospital;  my heart levels aren't great thanks to targeted therapy; I am not sleeping well thanks to the hot flushes I got from chemo putting me into menopause; I have injured both my knees from pushing my mum in a wheelchair and am on pain meds; I have to have another day surgery to correct a flipped port; yesterday I had my 22nd radiation session with 8 more to go; and I still have to have another 12 rounds of Herceptin to go. I had none of this before BC. So yeah, I get it - that seems like a fair few things to keep me busy, much like other women on this forum, but no doubt people go through much worse.

But despite knowing that this is a bit of a full plate I am struggling with how to feel about my tiredness.  Everyone tells me being tired is normal when going through radiation, especially after you have had a rough time with chemo. I am also strangely teary, not sad or depressed at all, just teary - will cry at the drop of a hat at just about anything, at movies, tv commercials, my son's uni graduation, a soppy birthday card, baby chickens, a kitten in a tree - you name it, it will bring on the water works just for a minute or two then I am fine, I get over it and then am back to normal. My GP says that too is probably because I am tired. 

I am also working not quite full time but 6 hours a day. I love work. I love the people and the problem solving and being productive. I feel so rotten in the mornings and feel like I can stay in bed all day, it's a struggle to put one foot in front of the other,  but then I just push through it and eventually get to work. By mid morning I come good, then I have radiation in the afternoon, visit my parents if I can, do shopping and cook/buy dinner. But it feels like such a roller coaster. And I feel like if I don't go to work I am giving in to the tiredness, that I am being defeated. Resting, as I do on the weekends, doesn't make me less tired, so what's the point in staying in bed and not going to work? I am definitely not the potter-around-the-house kind of person, so that option is out as well. 

It just makes me wonder, when we are going through breast cancer we are often told to listen to our bodies, but what does that really mean? I have said this to many women on here, but don't know what it means for me. I feel as if I listen to my body that I may never get out of bed again. Is it important to push through? How do we know when to push through or when to rest? Will I be this tired forever? 

Sorry for the rant, maybe it's just because I am tired.

Nadine

 

herceptin
radiotherapy
work
  • primek's avatar
    primek
    Member
    9 years ago

    I compare the tiredness to that after I had my babies. I cried a lot now just like you...and I did after my 1st baby too. I agree work can help be a distraction....but just wondering if you could think of a 4 hour day instead ...and use that 2 hours to recharge you.....like a nice walk...and coffee with a friend. Go have your nails done. Maybe a swim or walk in a pool. A yoga class.  Slowly building exercise tolerance my assist with giving you energy. I did this following depression and will do this once I am through my AC chemo...not possible on it. I decided if linited energy...as I have presently, I'd  rather doend it doibg something that brings me joy rather thsn just be working. We are all unique but it's  something to think about.

  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    9 years ago

    Hi Nadine

    think of yourself as a phone battery. Before bc you were able to fully charge to 100% but with bc and the associated treatments, the most you can charge to is 60%. Like a phone battery that you don't charge 100% you can't charge properly. It takes longer to charge and runs out of energy more quickly. You need to pace yourself so that your battery doesn't get below 40% before you recharge. You are at 5% battery at the moment and if you don't recharge, you will crash. The tears are a symptom of this. You need to make time everyday to stop, whether that's a nap or just sitting and reading or what ever you need to recharge. Learn what your symptoms of fatigue are. Tears, frustration, anxiety, grumpiness or whatever they are. When they start, this is your body telling you it is time to recharge your battery. I am 10 months down the track post treatment and I still have to be aware of this or I fall in a heap. This explanation of the fatigued helped me substantially. I hope it helps. Karen xox 

  • wendy55's avatar
    wendy55
    Member
    9 years ago

    Hi,

    wow what a busy life, no wonder you are tired, i certainly understand the teary bit as i was like that after my father passed away just after finsihing chemo, then there was everything associated with clearing the house, selling it and probate, i just went on auto pilot, however i was not working, but on oral chemo at the time, my diagnosis is slightly different, i have advanced breast cancer, but i kept trying to push through everything until i was crying everyday at anything and finally at my doctors suggestion i gave in and have since been on happy pills, at least thats what i call them, they certainly have made a difference to me and how i look and handle every day life, i know we are all different, but you seem to have so much on would it be worth a chat with your doctor, also some anti depressant medication also have a side effect of helping with the hot flushes just a matter of working out what works for you, i now feel a lot happier less emotional a much nicer person to be around, i have realized i am not super woman and cannot do everything, your gp mentioned that you were tired,so perhaps just have a little talk and see what he thinks, please take care, be gentle on yourself you have so much to do everyday,just be a little kinder to yourself,

    wendy 55

  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    9 years ago

    Dear Nadine

    Sometimes it's not the cancer that causes the tiredness. I saw a councillor for a few months after the third fairly serious side effect (ie ones you will have for ever). She led me through the reality that I was coping with them, and having cancer, pretty well. But my "normal" life left no energy or much space for the additional coping! She asked what I did to build energy. My problem was clear insomuch that I didn't really understand the question. Expend energy sure, but build it up? Have it in my "bank"? I had to learn how to do that. So perhaps do you. Sound like work builds and takes energy - and you like it, so keep that up. Can your children shoulder a bit more, particularly with their grandparents? What do you do each day that makes you happy? You are tired because you do a lot. Your body and mind need some energy deposits.

    if you can start putting the priority on you for a while, you may feel stronger.

    Very best of luck.

     

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    9 years ago

    Good morning it is one of the hardest things to find a balance. My plate was not as full as yours but I do remember the fatigue. I worked during chemo and I did this because I needed something else to think about as it is so easy to be come overwhelmed with treatment. You can't stop living but I used to try and think smart by cooking meals in bulk and doing what I thought was important to me, and housework was one thing that was let go.

    It is not ranting it is expressing how you feel and getting it out there to people who have walked the same track, take carexxx