Radiation update

Thank you Lyn, it is so good to hear someone else is experiencing the exact same reactions - are we twins - I am a Gemini!  I am avoiding talking to people who tell me to 'think positive' now 'cause I may have to tell them to keep their advice for themselves.

I have not had any nightmares this week and hope I can deal with them now if I do.  I hate waking up shaking from shock etc. it destroys me for the rest of the night and probably the week if I can't get my mind cleared of the disturbing images.  I see my psychologist next week and I will be glad I can talk to her about the one last week as I haven't been able to tell anyone as it was so disturbing but I was able to control it with the REM technique she taught me.

I have found Sunday is the best day, Friday's the worst, definitely cumulative and I am in two minds about next Friday, my last day of therapy and the worst day for cumulative reactions.  I think you're idea of working on Mondays is a good one.  I will have 2 weeks of leave after I finish therapy to recover so I am hoping that will give me enough time.  I tend to need to rest in the mid afternoon around 3ish and then around 9pm I drop and have to go to bed.  I have been given a small soft pillow from Berlei today by the breast nurse to help support my arm and keep it away from the burnt area on the side of my breast.  I am hoping it will help me to sleep better tonight.

I have been checking out the great number of cancer recipe books and a friend has sent me heaps of print outs etc.  I have always eaten lots of fruit and veg, raw and cooked and am on a very low salt diet as I have Meniere's Disease, never smoked or drink alcohol.  Considering all that I can't find anything I can do better with my diet except I have a liking for ice cream and that is my one sin.  I drink herbal teas and eat organic foods and fruit juice, grow my own veggies, herbs and fruit, and it tastes so good and is therapeutic to water the garden everyday before I go to work.

Every where I turn I keep hearing the c word - must be the c month of course but I am getting to the stage where I feel I can't get away from  the issue and just want to close off completely, perhaps I will immerse myself in my art soon but need some brain space to concentrate on being creative, seems like a good plan for next week maybe.  

Thank you for your support and making me feel like I am not completely alone and odd with my issues, talking to you keeps me sane because I have not heard from anyone else that they have had these issues, although I'm sure they do.  Have a great week and I'll be thinking of you, Suz xxx