Physically improving but mentally fed up!
Well. Chemo (TC) is now done and dusted and I am at the halfway point with my radiotherapy with 3 weeks down 3 to go.
I havent been around here for a bit as mentally I hit a bit of a bump. After being positive for months through all this crazyness I simply ran out of stamina. During chemo I was holding up better than I expected but just at the end of it my nails started to die. They then got infected which ment they were oozing pus and bleeding. It was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.
Doing ANYTHING suddendly became a massive task. When your nails are like that it effects everything - picking things up, getting dressed, showering, even wiping your bottom!
I was still going to work but feeling useless not being able to do my normal duties - what was the point of going when I couldnt even do anything helpful? My work mates were great and came up with random things I could do but still very frustrated over this as they are still bleeding and very loose. The antibiotics I was on seem to have cleared up the infection BUT this weekend I had a reaction to the antibiotics!
Seriously it is like what is next!! Full body rash, falling off nails, and suddenly I am sad about having no hair which hasnt been an issue for me!
I have also started Tamoxafen.
All winging aside radiotherapy is going well! My skin is holding up nicely as I have been drinking crazy amounts of water and using Moo Goo a mininum of 4 times a day. Two days ago I could feel my tiny sprigs of hair seeming to thickin up to the touch and today (i might be imagining it) they LOOK a little fuller. Whoohoo!
My libido is coming back thanks to the zoladex implant getting out of my system and starting to feel a little like me again though this weekend has been really hard.
Been watching crazy amounts of TV and getting frustrated that though I am getting my engergy back I cant do anything I want to due to my nails! I can now walk at my old fast pace though hills and stairs are a struggle. I am tired by the end of the work day though not as bad as before. Physically improving just mentally need a holiday on a tropical island and some good cocktails!
Bit of a ramble sorry. Shouldnt have left it so long between posts!
