Hi Gillian. Good luck with your op on Tuesday. Mine is booked for Monday next week. I agree with your emotional experiences so far.. I felt guilty about being angry and sad that it happened to me then happy to find test results showing no additional cancer cells. What a rollercoster and all within a week. I am a bit of a control freak so to have this happen and be unable to do anything to stop it is hard to handle but because of all the amazing support from nurses, doctors and my husband I am learning to let go and take advise from the professionals. I still find it hard to accept that this is not just some small lump that can be whipped out and then forget about it and to put myself in to the category of 'breast cancer survivor' -(hopefully)..but slowly I accept that I am among one of the special breed and start to look at this as a positive experience and treat it as a lesson to appreciate life and family. Sucks that it takes something like this to get me thinking along those lines but until you experience the shock of being told you have cancer in real life it just isn't real...thanks for listening and I look forward to hearing good news post op.