Hi Kate,
I was wondering how it went. Good on you for being assertive and seeking answers. It might be that this particular oncologist just isn't very good at communicating. Keep on asking questions until you are satisfied. Ask for a second or third opinion if you need to. Find an oncologist that you are comfortable with. There are some good resources here on the BCNA website : https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/your-medical-team/
Arm yourself with information and questions for your meeting with the surgeon. Have you seen the information about DCIS that BCNA have on the website: https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/types-of-breast-cancer/ductal-carcinoma-in-situ/ You can download Cancer Australia's resource DCIS Understanding your diagnosis and treatment here. The John Boyages is a straightforward book that leads you step by step through taking control of DCIS. See if your local library has a copy.
Hang in there