Do you know what drugs your oncologist was planning on using if you do accept the chemo? That would be the major factor in my decision making - some of them are nasty but others they really have worked out how to mask a lot of the worst side effects. It might help to ask about side effects people had on your specific drug.
You could surprise yourself with your hair. I had 3 other people cry for my lost hair but it was personally easier than I expected. I booked in for an extreme cut the week before I started and took my waist length waves up to a chin length bob (that is what I am growing it back to, I loved it) then I took it to a pixie cut when it started to fall out before getting my husband to give me a number 2 a couple of days after my 2nd treatment. I finished my 4 rounds of taxane 9 weeks ago and my hair is really thickening up and it is so soft and fluffy (yes, my family and I pat my head).
While it was unpleasant it really wasn't too bad at all - this is coming from a person who demanded the oncologist explain why she now wanted me to poison myself after the surgeon had done such a successful job of removing my cancer. My decision to go with it was a mix of things, the main 2 - a friend who was 39 when diagnosed (I was 41 and like you ER+ve) and 2 years ahead of me in all of this making a passing comment that I shouldn't look at chemo as a bad thing but to see it as extra insurance. The 2nd reason my mum (diag at 42) only had a lumpectomy and radiation and then had it return so it was enough to make me want to do things differently. Your reasons for your decision will be just as personal and possible baffling to an outsider as mine.
