I know exactly how you feel. I really hated my hair as it was growing back. It was so curly/frizzy and I while some people look nice with curls I just didnt' like them on me. I could handle all the BC treatment, surgery, feeling ill etc but the whole losing my hair thing and waiting for it to grow back properly was a nightmare.
I think I made the frizziness worse by having it lightened very early on. It's now been just on two years since I lost my hair and about 21 months since I finished chemo. My hair is about shoulder length (it has been trimmed a couple of times) and it is gradually getting back to it's pre-chemo waviness and losing the curliness. However the ends are still kind of frizzy and damaged - probably from the coloring - and my hair is not as thick as it used to be. I'm hoping this too will improve over time.
Unfortunately I don't think there is a lot you can do other than be patient. If you can avoid bleaching you hair like I have it will probably stay healthier. And once it gets a bit of length you can use a hair straightener of course. I know it sucks Kerri but time passes and it does grow back to something close to normal.