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SunnyNess77's avatar
10 years ago

Finally feeling like a 'cancer patient'

Hi Ladies, 

Happy 2016 to everyone and I hope you are all doing well.

I've finally started my radiation treatment and am one week down out of six and I hate to say it but its been horrible and I was not expecting this at all.  I live on the Sunshine Coast with an extremely old population and I find that every time I am at radiation I am the youngest in there by at least 20-30 years and its so depressing.  I sit there in the waiting room in my little gown, with my basket of belongings under my feet and I immediately feel huge waves of anxiety come over me.  Its incredibly soul destroying to be young (I'm just 38) and going through this whilst being surrounded by many very old people.  Up until now I have found all of my other treatment to be ok and I have not felt anxious or depressed at all.  I managed to skip chemo due to my cancer being grade 1.  I have found in the last ten days that I have immense waves of tears just come over me which are un-controllable and I have never been like this- I'm usually always upbeat and happy.

I live on my own and whilst I have many friends who have been great, I am now finding the reality of many basic things taking its toll as I have been getting extremely tired from the treatment, most of which I think is emotional, but none the less, its debilitating.  Did anyone else have a similar experience/s with radiation and if so, did it get better or how did you deal with it?  Ive also found that my appetite is slowly going and my desire to have a glass of red wine has gone too- now that means there is definitely something wrong!- anyone else experience this too?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Lots of love Ness

 

6 Replies

  • Hi ladies, 

    sorry for the belated reply. Thank you all so much for your kind words and I'm doing a lot better now. As I write this im 20 days down out of 30, so only 2 more weeks to go. The fatigue seems to be getting a little easier to deal with and my skin is holding up ok, especially since the nurse at radiation suggested a cortisone spray! being a born and bred Queenslander, it seems that the years of sun damage on my chest is now coming out in force from the radiation. I still find it incredibly hard being there each day and being the youngest person receiving treatment, but I just get in and get out and know that this will be over soon.  The radiation techs at my centre are great and surprisingly, I can already envisage that I'm probably going to miss seeing them each day! 

    I hope everyone is doing well and I again thank everyone here for your support, love and understanding xxxx

     

  • Hi Ness,

    Sorry to hear about how you're feeling, and it's totally understandable. I've just had my 2nd last chemo, and after the last in 3 weeks still have op and radiation to go, followed by herceptin for the rest of the year. I have some amazingly supportive friends but it's hard not to feel alone when no-one understands fully unless they've been through it, and through it so young. And yes, the tiredness is completely frustrating. I've just turned 28, and it's scary thinking that while I'm ready to go out and experience life again after this awful diagnosis, I know it'll always hang over me in some way. I've found speaking to a professional helps, someone who deals with cancer patients. Maybe something to look into? It's shown me how strong I really am, which has surprised me, and helps me to tackle those day to day upsets that occur here and there. Whatever you find helps, I hope the feelings don't linger long. You're doing amazingly. Thinking of you, Em x

  • Thank you for posting this, just because it's given me some kind of insight in to what to expect. I turned 31 in November and am still wrapping my head around the word "young" being thrown at me so often but as the days tick by I'm starting to feel it, especially in the resources. I don't think I'd have found anything like this anywhere.

    I'm sorry I don't have anything useful to say, but I wanted you to know that I really appreciated your post. I'll be heading in to chemo for the first time in March. I wonder if I'll be allowed to bring a friend every now and then just so I won't feel so alienated from this incredibly surreal reality.

  • Hi Ness

    I finished 6 weeks of radiotherapy before Christmas. It is a very lonely experience and one that most people can't relate to. The daily routine of going to the hospital, getting undressed and into your gown, then the waiting and then the procedure.. its a lot.

    However I really do believe that staying positive (like it sounds you have been up until now) is the absolute best thing you can do. The 6 weeks will fly by- I could not believe how quickly that time went. I continued to work though all my treatment (chemo included) and I can't stress enough how much I believe mental attitude has to do with recovery.

    All the best, stay strong and keep busy.

    Sally x

  • Hi Ness

    I have just finished 7 weeks of radio myself and at 34yrs old I can identify with the feelings you are experiencing about being the young one in there. It's a long hard road getting through the radio, the every day routine definitely takes its toll in more ways than one. I too am not normally an overly emotional person but also found myself getting quite anxious and upset while waiting on many occasions. It's especially hard if you are a very private person normally like myself, it's all very confronting to deal with and we all feel very exposed.

    You will get through it though! It's totally normal to feel really tired, I was exhausted, especially toward the end. I will also tell you that that doesn't get better as soon as you finish, you keep feeling worse for a few weeks but then it does start to improve, I promise!

    Keep walking every day and try to stretch if you can or your body will become very stiff and sore by the end. Use creams on your skin as often as you can and try not to wear a bra as much as you can while at home. I used calendula, aloe vera and coconut oil and  at night put dressings on with shea butter and manuka honey and my doctors were amazed at how well my skin held up!

    Take it one day at a time and don't expect too much of yourself at this time, just rest and let your body heal. It will be short lived and you'll be through it before you know!

    Good luck hon, stay strong xxxx

  • Hi Ness

    i know what you mean about the population up here. I didn't see anyone else young thru my 6 wks at Genesis for radiation. I can tell you though we are definitely about. My girls are back at school now so I can def catch up with you. 

    The way I got thru radio was to start going to bloomhill. Actually I'm about to head to the 10 am class now. We'd love to see u if it fits. I lost your number in my phone but I'm keen to see you. 

    Exercise really helped to keep my energy levels up during radio. Also I could wear my normal clothes and just take off the top so I didn't wear the gown ??

    Talk soon

    Bec