every morning

I concentrated on the fact that the surgery was to remove the cancer rather than the breast. I thought my breast was full of the cancer and the best way to be rid of the cancer was to remove the whole breast. I was worried about what it would look like afterwards but was surprised that there was just a very neat looking scar covered by a dressing when I first looked. There was not even much pain, just a very tight feeling that made it difficult to move my arm. I look at my scar now and it is just a faint white line. I have never thought it was ugly or deformed. Removing my breast saved my life and no one even knows unless I choose to tell them that I have no breast. I think about all the people who loose a limb or an eye or a piece of their face to cancer and think that loosing a breast is so much less of an issue. I think of the people (some of them only children) who's cancer is inoperable and feel lucky that removing my breast and lymph nodes will hopefully give me a lot more life to enjoy. Some people don't have that hope. As hard as it is getting out and going for a walk somewhere where you can notice the beauty around us can really help to lift your mood. Think of some things that you have to be grateful about and write them down. Try to add to this list each day. Reading it can help you feel better. I hope you feel better soon. We all have moments or days when it all seems too much but this should not continue for too long. Take care. Deanne xxx